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"Drive Thru" (transcript)

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Transcript Information
Drive Thru
General
Season №: 8
Episode №: 154a
Airdate: July 19, 2011
Chronology
Previous: "The Other Patty"
Next: "The Hot Shot"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Drive Thru" from season eight, which aired on July 19, 2011.

  • [The camera zooms in to the Krusty Krab]
  • SpongeBob: [startled] Mr. Krabs, what 'cha doin?
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh ahoy, SpongeBob! I'm was just using some old toothpaste I found to patch up this small hole in the wall.
  • [Squidward interrupts]
  • Squidward: Good thing you didn't hire a professional to do that.
  • Mr. Krabs: And why is that, Mr. Squidward?
  • Squidward: Because then you'd only get to repair it once.
  • [SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs both blink]
  • SpongeBob: So, what flavor is it?
  • Mr. Krabs: It-it-it's just a hole in the wall, boy. It doesn't have a flavor.
  • SpongeBob: No, I mean the toothpaste!
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh. Well I think it's... [Mr. Krabs notices the toothpaste drip, the wall cracks, and falls down]
  • SpongeBob: Hey, look Mr. Krabs! That small hole in the wall just became a medium sized hole in the wall!
  • Squidward: Time to get out the dental floss. Ha. [cuts to a man and two boys riding in a boat]
  • Boy 1: Thanks again for taking us to the Krusty Krab, dad.
  • Boy 2: Yeah, mom never brings us here.
  • Frank: Ha. Any time kids. What the?
  • [Mr. Krabs attempts to put more toothpaste on]
  • SpongeBob: Careful now...
  • Frank: Hey, you guys put in a drive through!
  • Mr. Krabs: [confused] We did?
  • Frank: Great, I'll have three large Krabby Patties, Krabby Fries, a Krabby Cola, and 2 extra large orders of Krabby Rings. [Sniffs] Is this toothpaste?
  • Mr. Krabs: [smirking] Boy, I don't know how I think think of this stuff, but I think I got a winner! We are putting in a drive through!
  • SpongeBob: [astonished] A drive--- woah!
  • Squidward: Sounds like a lot of extra work to me.
  • Mr. Krabs: You mean for you.
  • Squidward: [pounds cash register] It'll cost you money.
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh nonsense, we'll build it for free!
  • [Cuts to Mr. Krabs outside looking through the hole]
  • SpongeBob: Hi, Mr. Krabs.
  • Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, SpongeBob. What's with all the booty?
  • SpongeBob: I got this new microphone system which everybody hears them, The sign with a menu on it, and a colorful arrow from the Krusty Krab. It even lights up, see? [Light goes on]
  • Mr. Krabs: OK, but, I got something better. A menu made with napkins and tape, A microphone system made of tin cans, and this sign... I made it from an old noodle.
  • SpongeBob: I don't get it, Mr. Krabs. How is this stuff better than I bought?
  • Mr. Krabs: I'm sorry, what?
  • SpongeBob: How is this stuff better?
  • Mr. Krabs: Because it was... [Shakes microphone] FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Billy: I'll have one Krabby Patty with extra fries and a medium drink.
  • Squidward: Coming right up, sir. SpongeBob, I need one Krabby Patty, with extra fries and a medium drink.
  • SpongeBob: I'll have that ready for two shakes in a lamprey's tail! hehehehehe! [Dumps Krabby Patty with fries and medium drink on the ground] Oops. [Whistling where he brings the trampoline on the ground] There we go, good as new. [Back inside the Krusty Krab he dumps the Krabby Patty with fries and a medium drink and it jumps and splattered the customer] Thank you, come again.
  • Mr. Krabs: Yes, you like it here, don't you? [Billy walks by] Can I help you? [Billy gives Mr. Krabs a bill] WHAT?! A BILL?! What's this for?
  • Billy: It's for my dry cleaning. Your drive-through window is getting smaller now. Size-wise, I mean.
  • Mr. Krabs: [Crashed the drive-through window with a mallet] There we go, problem solved. [Folded arms smiling]
  • Narrator: Meanwhile...
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, two large, two medium. I hate my job.
  • Dale: Excuse me, I like to place an order. [Squidward walks]
  • Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, Squidward.
  • Squidward: Mr. Krabs, I am getting really tired of running back and forth. I find it both exhausting and time consuming.
  • Mr. Krabs: [Pushes the cash register boat beside the hole in the wall, then pushes the grill along with SpongeBob into his office, and finally pushes his chair into the kitchen. Then walks back to Squidward]
  • Squidward: [Sarcastically] Oh, wonderful. Peachy. Now how am I suppose to get two SpongeBobs so I can hand them these order tickets here?
  • Mr. Krabs: [Smashes a hole to his office revealing SpongeBob] Problem solved!
  • SpongeBob: Squidward! Hi!
  • Squidward: Oh it's days like this that make me wish I had gone back to college.
  • Plankton: [Drives up in a small car] Now I'll be able to get a Krabby Patty the simplest way possible: By ordering one! [Laughs evily] Ahem! I would like to order one Krabby Patty please! Uh, extra Secret Formula! [Pauses] Hello!? Is this stupid thing on!?
  • Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward! Any customers?
  • Squidward: Not that I can hear.
  • Mr. Krabs: [Looks out the hole] Oh? Here comes one now!
  • Plankton: Hey. HEY! GO AROUND! GO AROUND! [Gets run over and squished.] AHHH!!!
  • Old Man: Large Krabby Patty with fries please.
  • Squidward: With fries. Got it. We'll have it right out to you sir.
  • Old Man: What? Your closed!? Now she tells me [Drives off].
  • Squidward: [Comes back with a bag] There you are sir. The ketchup is in the b--What? Did somebody order a Krabby Patty?
  • Plankton: [Slowly raises up his arm]
  • Squidward: Nobody huh? Ok, I'll just toss it in the trash.
  • [Plankton's arm goes down. Time card that says "Later" shows to where Pearl and her friends are driving in]
  • Pearl: [Laughs] I am sure in a jovial mood! How about you guys?
  • Girl 1: You bet Pearl!
  • Girl 2: Oh, I'm feeling espically jovial. You know? Being a teenager and all!
  • Squidward: Welcome to the Krusty Krab Drive Thru. Can I take your order?
  • Pearl: Hey you guys. It sounds like that weird guy Squidward. What do you say we play a prank on him?
  • Girl 2: Oh! Sounds like a great idea to me! Being a teenager and all! [Takes out a megaphone] TWO LARGE KRABBY PATTIES! PLEASE! [Pause] WITH FRIES! [Laughs].
  • Squidward: [Holds ear] OOOOWWWWWW!!! I'm not faking it you know. That really hurts! A lot!
  • [Bubble transition to Mr. Krabs and Squidward]
  • Mr. Krabs: A bill!? And what is this for?
  • Squidward: It's for my ear-replacement surgery! We need a real microphone and speaker!
  • Mr. Krabs: You have any idea what a real microphone and speaker costs?!?
  • Squidward: How much?
  • Mr. Krabs: Well...they cost as much as...as uh...as a...real microphone and...speaker.
  • [A time card that says "Just Then" is show to where Larry the Lobster drives in and accidently smashes the "microphone."]
  • Larry: Woah woah. Whoopsy!
  • Mr. Krabs: [Notices the can fall of] Hey! You delinquent!
  • Squidward: Now you have to replace it.
  • Mr. Krabs: Replace what?
  • Squidward: The microphone!
  • Mr. Krabs: What do I look like I'm made out of tin cans?
  • Squidward: No but that pile of tin cans over there is [Points to a pile of tin cans].
  • Mr. Krabs: Good thing we have you around to always point out the obvious!
  • Squidward: Good thing you're around to never notice the obvious!
  • Larry: [Watches Mr. Krabs fix the microphone] Sorry about that dude.
  • Mr. Krabs: Well that's nice! I'm still billing you for the damages!
  • SpongeBob: [Walks to the hole holding a Krabby Patty meal] One Krabby Meal! To go!
  • Larry: Hand on up here!
  • SpongeBob: Sure thing Larry! [Tries to hand the Krabby Meal up to Larry] Gehh! GEHH!!!
  • Larry: Come on, bro! You can do it!
  • SpongeBob: GEEEHHHH!!! [Falls out the hole and onto the ground dropping the meal in the process].
  • Larry: Or maybe not.
  • SpongeBob: [Walks to Mr. Krabs] Mr. Krabs. I'm concerned.
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh? Why SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: Because I can't reach the window of Larry the Lobster's SUB!
  • Mr. Krabs: Yeah...Well there's a solution to every problem! [Smashes another hole above the first one revealing Larry's face] There! Problem solved [Laughs] Hey! What is all the ruckourous about!? Woah...
  • Lady: Hey! What's the hold up?!?
  • Man 1: How long are you going to make us wait?!?
  • Man 2: We were waiting here for hours!
  • Harold: We're still trying to get out of our driveways!
  • Mr. Krabs: Squidward! There's a line of customers out there a million miles long!
  • Squidward: [Sarcastically] That's nice. That's interesting.
  • Mr. Krabs: I guess I'll be retiring early after all! [Laughs and then spots a policeman].
  • Policeman: Mr. Eugene Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: Yeeesss? [The policeman hands him a ticket] What? Is this a-a-a ticket?!?
  • Policeman: A ticket? [Laughs] Now why would I write you a ticket? Huh? Oh, I know! How about FOR TURNING THE WHOLE TOWN INTO A PARKING LOT!!!
  • Mr. Krabs: Ah! But officer! I a...I a...Listen!
  • Policeman: Relax man, that's just my order. I want two Krabby Patties and Kelp Fries to go! I don't wait in lines!
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh sure! Right! Phew! Hah hah hah...SpongeBob can you get the kind officer two-
  • SpongeBob: [Appears with the bag of Krabby Patties and Kelp Fries] -Krabby Patties and Kelp Fries, sir? Anything for our boys in blue!
  • Mr. Krabs: Here you go officer! And thanks for being so understanding! If you know what I mean? No charge.
  • Policeman: You're welcome. Just hope the Mayor doesn't find out about this mess. HE'S the one you need to worry about! [Holds open the door letting the Mayor in] Mayor. [Leaves]
  • Mayor: Eugene Krabs!
  • Mr. Krabs: AHHH!!! Mr. Mayor!
  • Mayor: The whole town is in a stand-still because your drive thru is so slow!
  • Mr. Krabs: Well...don't you worry Mr. Mayor! I have a answer for that too! [Smashes another hole on the other side of the Krusty Krab] There you go! See now we have two drive thrus, two lines, and I'll make money twice as fast! [Laughs].
  • Mayor: Hmm! That should work perfectally!
  • [Bubble transition to SpongeBob]
  • SpongeBob: Okay! Who had the Double Krabby Patty with fries and extra chesse...[The crowd then yells and tries to grab at him].
  • Squidward: SpongeBob! Order up!
  • SpongeBob: I'm on it! [Dashes over and takes the order ticket then starts grilling many Krabby Patties at the same time].
  • Squidward: Hurry SpongeBob! I got 26 more orders!
  • SpongeBob: [Grows a bunch of arms and comes out carrying a bunch of trays with orders on them] 26 orders up!
  • Squidward: [Running past SpongeBob] No no no! Not that window! The other one!
  • SpongeBob: Squidward, are you sure!? These customers over here look really really hungry! [Spots a bunch of people in the window yelling].
  • Squidward: [Customers are biting on him] And these ones don't!
  • Man 3: [Honks and suddenly gets hit from behind] Hey hey hey! Watch it will ya! I just had this thing repainted!
  • Man 4: And I had THIS repainted! [Takes out a pipe-like object]
  • Man 3: [Scared] I see you used the extra-glossly...
  • Plankton: [Walking around holding chum] Chum Nuggets here! Going fast! Get 'em while they're cold! Get 'em while they're running! Looks like Krabs' drive thru is really paying off, for me! [Takes out cash and laughs evily. Then spots something] Oh no...not again. AHHH!!! [Gets run over by the same Old Man from eariler].
  • Old Man: Oh darn it! Now there's a line!
  • Plankton: [Gets up] Watch where you going old man! This is the second time!
  • Old Man: I'm too old to wait in lines! [Squashes Plankton again]
  • Plankton: Chum Nuggets...get them before [His arm breaks and the chum he was holding lands in his eye] my arm falls off...
  • Mr. Krabs: Gasp! They're everywhere!
  • Squidward: Mr. Krabs!
  • Mr. Krabs: Stay back! Take Squidward, not me! [Opens eyes and spots Squidward] Oh, hi Squidward.
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! We got to do something! The customers are mad with hunger! They're beginning to riot!
  • Squidward: For once, he's right!
  • Mr. Krabs: Easy boys! Easy! Don't you think you both are getting a little carried away? I mean, I hardly call this a riot! Right, hah hah. Like- [The Krusty Krab sign suddenly crashes through the window] Oh....kay...Don't worry! I can solve this! [Takes out a sledgehammer and runs over to the wall] More drive thrus! More money!
  • [Mr. Krabs smashes another hole in the Krusty Krab causing it to suddenly crack. All of the customers drive away screaming]
  • Mr. Krabs: Hey? Somebody eating potato chips?
  • [The Krusty Krab finally breaks apart, all three emerge from the dust]
  • SpongeBob: Don't worry Mr. Krabs! [Takes out toothpaste] We can fix it! [Squirts the rubble with the toothpaste, until the toothpaste runs out] We might want to buy some more toothpaste though.
  • [episode ends with Mr. Krabs crying]

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