Buried in Time/transcript

Template:EpisodeTr/145a

• [opening shot of the Krusty Krab]
• SpongeBob: [singing] ♪Krabby Patties, Krabby Patties, love cookin' me some Krabby Patties! Feedin' all the children and the mommies and the daddies! Love servin' up the most delicious dish, but before I can, gotta add a little of this!♪ [takes tartar sauce bottle but it's empty] Hmm, time to refill the tartar sauce. [goes to a large tartar sauce bucket but it's empty] Empty! I thought I'd never see the day. "Use on or before the date printed below." [gasps] This can has been here for 50 years. That's longer than me! (SpongeBob gets on his knees, bows down to the large tartar sauce bucket, and then gets back up) Oh, important Krusty Krab relic, what shall we do with ye?
• Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, throw that trash out and get back to work!
• SpongeBob: Trash? Oh, but, Mr. Krabs, this should be in a museum for future generations to enjoy.
• Mr. Krabs: [gets an idea] Hmm. Future generations, huh?
• [Bubble transition]
• Mr. Krabs: Welcome to the Krusty Krab Time Capsule Spectacular! That's right! In 50 years, your donated treasures will be honored for future generations to enjoy! [to SpongeBob and Squidward] All right, you guys got donations covered, right?
• SpongeBob: Sir, yes, sir!
• Squidward: Whatever.
• Mr. Krabs: I'm gonna go ahead and take care of souvenirs!
• [Nat brings a toaster]
• SpongeBob: The peoples of the future must see this, so they will know how we toasted bread in the before time. So that they can understand the...
• Squidward: Garbage. That'll be a $5 contribution fee. [SpongeBob puts the toaster in the time capsule]
• Mr. Krabs: And there's your commemorative time capsule key chain. That'll be $49.57.
• Billy: But, this thing's made out of rusty old paper clips and cardboard!
• Mr. Krabs: All right. You drive a hard bargain. I'll throw in a coupon for one free ice cube in a purchase of any large cola at the Krusty Krab. What do ya say?
• Billy: [takes coupon] Deal!
• [Mr. Krabs puts the money away in his shell and sighs]
• [Sadie brings a lamp]
• SpongeBob: What a beautiful lamp, ma'am, so ornate, essential for night time reading.
• Sadie: Why, thank you, young man!
• Squidward: No, thank you for completely failing our future generations with your donation. I mean, seriously, ma'am, did you just grab the first thing you saw this morning?
• Sadie: Well, actually, I...
• Squidward: [imitates Sadie] "Hmm. Oh, whatever shall I donate to the time capsule? Golly, this is hard! How about [gasps] this lamp?! It's [sarcastically] perfect!"
• Sadie: Wow, you're good. How did you know all that? Are you like a psychic? Oh, oh, oh! Tell me what I'm thinking!
• Squidward: Next. [throws the lamp]
• SpongeBob: [catches the lamp in his face] Hey, nice pass, Squidward!
• [Bubble transition; a strange man brings a plate]
• Squidward: Uh-huh. Tell me, what do you know about this plate?
• Man: Uh, it works good when I eat stuff.
• Squidward: Right. This plate is actually not meant to be eaten on. Now with your permission, I'd like to perform a few tests to verify its authenticity.
• Man: Uh, okay.
• Squidward: [starts teething on plate. Sucks it up his nose and takes it out] Uh-huh. [rubs it on his bottom] Interesting. [skids around on plate] This is a promising sign. Yep. [hits plate on man's head several times] You hear that plate-hitting-skull sound? It's definitely authentic. And I would price it conservatively in today's market at $250.
• Man: Really?
• Squidward: No. [throws plate away and SpongeBob catches it; he breaths heavily]
• [Bubble transition]
• SpongeBob: [to the plate]nYou are the crown jewel of the time capsule!
• Squidward: Next. [throws sock]
• SpongeBob: [gasps. He catches the sock and drops the plate, breaking it] A four-striped sock! Incredible!
• Timecard: 2 hours later...
• SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward. I think that's everyone.
• Patrick: [runs to the time capsule with a rock] SpongeBob! SpongeBob, did I make it? I brought my favorite rock to donate to the time thinger.
• SpongeBob: Ooh, are you sure you can part with it, Patrick?
• Patrick: Sometimes you've got to make sacrifices.
• SpongeBob: After you then!
• Patrick: Thank you, my good man.