SpongeBob:[singing] ♪Krabby Patties, Krabby Patties, love cookin' me some Krabby Patties! Feedin' all the children and the mommies and the daddies! Love servin' up the most delicious dish, but before I can, gotta add a little of this!♪[takes tartar sauce bottle, but it's empty] Hmm, time to refill the tartar sauce. [goes to a large tartar sauce bucket but it's empty] Empty! I thought I'd never see the day. "Use on or before the date printed below." [gasps] This can has been here for 50 years. That's longer than me! (SpongeBob gets on his knees, bows down to the large tartar sauce bucket, and then gets back up) Oh, important Krusty Krab relic, what shall we do with ye?
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, throw that trash out and get back to work!
SpongeBob: Trash? Oh, but, Mr. Krabs, this should be in a museum for future generations to enjoy.
Mr. Krabs:[gets an idea] Hmm. Future generations, huh?
Mr. Krabs:[to crowd, through a megaphone] Welcome to the Krusty Krab Time Capsule Spectacular! That's right! In 50 years, your donated treasures will be honored for future generations to enjoy! [to SpongeBob and Squidward] All right, you two got donations covered, right?
SpongeBob: Sir, yes, sir!
Mr. Krabs: I'm gonna go ahead and take care of souvenirs!
[Nat brings a toaster]
SpongeBob: The peoples of the future must see this, so they will know how we toasted bread in the before time. So that they can understand the...
Squidward:[interrupts SpongeBob] Garbage. That'll be a $5 contribution fee. [SpongeBob puts the toaster in the time capsule]
Mr. Krabs: And there's your commemorative time capsule key chain. That'll be $49.57, please.
Billy: But, this thing's made out of rusty old paper clips and cardboard!
Mr. Krabs: All right. You drive a hard bargain. I'll throw in a coupon for one free ice cube in a purchase of any large cola at the Krusty Krab. What do you say?
Billy:[takes coupon] Deal!
[Mr. Krabs puts the money away in his shell, then sighs]
[Sadie brings a lamp]
SpongeBob:[gasps] What a beautiful lamp, ma'am, so ornate, so essential for night time reading.
Sadie: Why, thank you, young man!
Squidward: No, thank you for completely failing our future generations with your donation. I mean, seriously, ma'am, did you just grab the first thing you saw this morning?
Sadie: Well, actually...
Squidward:[imitates Sadie] "Hmm. Oh, whatever will I donate to the time capsule? Golly, this is hard! How about [gasps] this lamp?! It's [sarcastically] perfect!"
Sadie:[claps] Wow, you're good. How did you know all that? Are you like a psychic? Oh, oh, oh! Tell me what I'm thinking!
Squidward: Next. [throws the lamp]
SpongeBob:[catches the lamp in his face] Hey, nice pass, Squidward!
[Bubble transition; a random man brings a plate]
Squidward: Uh-huh. Tell me, what do you know about this plate?
Man: Uh, it works good when I eat stuff.
Squidward: Right. This plate is actually not meant to be eaten on. Now with your permission, I'd like to perform a few tests to verify its authenticity.
Man: Uh, okay.
Squidward:[starts teething on plate. Sucks it up his nose and takes it out] Uh-huh. [rubs it on his bottom] Interesting. [skids around on plate] This is a promising sign. Yep. [hits plate on man's head several times] You hear that plate-hitting-skull sound? It's definitely authentic. And I would price it conservatively in today's market at $250.
Squidward: No. [throws plate away and SpongeBob catches it; he breaths heavily]
SpongeBob:[to the plate]You are the crown jewel of the time capsule!
Squidward: Next. [throws sock]
SpongeBob:[gasps, then catches the sock and drops the plate, breaking it] A four-striped sock! Incredible!
Timecard: 2 hours later...
SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward. I think that's everybody.
Patrick:[runs to the time capsule with a rock] SpongeBob! SpongeBob, did I make it? I brought my favorite rock to donate to the time thinger.
SpongeBob: Ooh, are you sure you can part with it, Patrick?
Patrick: Sometimes, you've got to make sacrifices.
SpongeBob: After you then.
Patrick: Thank you, my good man. [He and SpongeBob run into Squidward]
Squidward: Sorry, Patrick, but there's no way I'm letting you put your dumb rock in the time capsule. I've allowed some seriously, ridiculous items today, but this is where I cross the line. Do you unders- What? [notices SpongeBob and Patrick gone, then growls]
Patrick: Okay, Rocky. [pats the rock gently] You're going bye-bye, now.
Squidward: Oh, no, you don't! [He and Patrick pull and struggle to get the rock, but it flies out of their hands and hits the edge of a long piece of wood, slingshoting SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward right into the time capsule, which closes automatically]
SpongeBob:[as he and Patrick sit on a crushed Squidward] [to Patrick] You know, that didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would.
Patrick: What didn't? [finds a yo-yo] Hey, look, a yo-yo! [gently swings the yo-yo around]
SpongeBob: Patrick, you're very good at that!
[Bubble transition to the outside of the event]
Mr. Krabs:[to crowd, through a megaphone] And thanks so much for all your contributions! So, are you ready to put this thing in the ground? [crowd cheers]
Plankton:[looks at the event from the Chum Bucket through a telescope, then growls] Curse that Krabs and his cheering crowds! Big whoop, a stupid time capsule! [blows raspberry]
Mr. Krabs: But before we do, I'd like to make a contribution of me own. A copy of the Krabby Patty Formula! [holds a bottle with paper inside]
Plankton:[looks at formula astonished as his antennas come off] There it is! The one element that can turn this lonesome bucket of steel into a bustling world-famous eatery! [transition from a dirty, empty Chum Bucket into a clean, crowded Chum Bucket] [Plankton looks through the telescope, giggling evilly]