[episode begins with the fact that SpongeBob and Patrick are sitting down around SpongeBob's house and the bubble jar]
Patrick: After you.
SpongeBob: Ah, thank you Patrick. [dunks stick in a jar of bubbles, inflates the bubble and it bursts]
Patrick: My turn. [dunks stick in a jar of bubbles, inflates the bubble and it bursts]
SpongeBob: Neato. [the bubble pops as SpongeBob dunks the stick in a jar of bubbles] Watch this. [inflates the bubble]
Patrick:[bored] Wow. [SpongeBob yawns as Patrick sleeps and snores as the bubble pops and he wakes up, worried] Monosodium glutamate! [inflates another bubble, then pops]
SpongeBob: You know, Patrick, [sniffs] we should spice up our bubble blowing.
Patrick: Yeah, yeah. Spice. [picks up the bubble jar, close-up of it] No spice. Hmm... [throws away the bubble jar and pulls out a jar of hot sauce from his pocket, close-up of it] Hot sauce! [opens the jar with his mouth while the inside of the jar mini-explodes, then places it down] Spicy bubbles. [SpongeBob giggles as Patrick dunks the stick in the hot sauce then inflates a bubble, which it flies to SpongeBob's eyes and bursts, causing the eyes to sting]
SpongeBob: Hmm... [screams as his eyes disappear, then pop back out, causing him to laugh, and then he inflates a bubble and does the same thing to Patrick: screaming from the sting of the bubble]
Patrick: I wonder if hot sauce is bad for our eyes.
Both: Nah. [they laugh, then inflate bubbles repeatedly toward their eyes that make them scream and then laugh]
[meanwhile, at Squidward's house]
Squidward:[cuts a leaf from his bonsai portrait of himself][sighs] 20 years of paint-staking care, and my bonsai portrait is almost complete. Oh! Oh, my. What's this? [close-up of leaf under the portrait's nose] I missed a spot. Not to worry. You'll be perfect soon, as perfect as me. Hmm... [tries to cut the leaf, but eventually, SpongeBob and Patrick keep screaming and laughing outside, causing the bonsai to rip off and land on Squidward's lap][worried] Oh. Look what I've done. [cries] Oh, no!
Bonsai Squidward:[comes to life] Squidward.
Squidward: What? What? Who said that?
Bonsai Squidward: It's me, your bonsai Squidward. Will you grant me my final request?
Squidward: Of..of course. [puts the bonsai down] What...what...what is it?
Bonsai Squidward: Avenge me.
Squidward: "Avenge me?" [ominous music plays as Squidward gets angry and looks out the window, seeing SpongeBob and Patrick laughing] SpongeBob!
[SpongeBob and Patrick continue to blow bubbles in there eyes before they laugh again]
Patrick: I must have more.
SpongeBob: You want more? [inhales and blows a big spicy bubble]
Squidward: SpongeBob you moron, you ruined my bon… [notices the bubble] ...sai. [the spicy bubble explodes and burns Squidward]
SpongeBob: Let's go to Sandy's.
[scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking to Sandy's house where Sandy fixes an air tank connected to her treedome]
SpongeBob: Sandy, Sandy, check out these new spicy bubbles that Patrick invented.
Patrick: Yeah, I thinked it up with my own head. Now I'm as smart as Sandy
SpongeBob: Maybe even smarter.
Sandy: Smarter, huh? Well, I'd love to try out your new-fangled bubbles, Patrick, but I've got to fix these air lines to my treedome. They're all clogged up and the lack of fresh air is making me woozy.
Patrick: Why don't you just breathe water like a smart person? [breathes deeply a few times, then chuckles] Guess you're just too dumb.
SpongeBob: I know Sandy. I'll use these spicy bubbles. They'll clean out your pipes for you. [inhales, then starts blowing]
Sandy: That's sweet of you, SpongeBob, but a bunch of little old bubbles ain't gonna clear these air lines. [SpongeBob blows the bubbles onto the air tank which starts to burn]
Sandy:[gasps before seeing the water starting to flood Sandy's treedome]
Sandy: I'll tar and feather you nincompoops later. My suit's air supply is nearing empty. Luckily, I have just enough air in my submarine to get to the surface and refill my air tanks.
SpongeBob: Phew! Thank goodness. Allow me to get the door. [opens the door, but the water comes in]
Patrick: Even I knew that was dumb.
Sandy: Oh, no! I have only a few minutes of air left! I'm far too dizzy already. You'll have to drive, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Whoo! [cuts to the submarine whirring and pinging up to the surface] How's Sandy doing back there?
Patrick: I'm not sure. Let me check. [an alarm beeps] Oh!
Sandy: Hey there, Patty-Pat-Pat-Pat-Patrick. Careful where you're breathing. You don't want to disturb the subatomic particle rodeo. Yee-haw, micro-dawgies! Rope them molecules.
Patrick: She's totally losing it.
Sandy:[gasps and grunts, touching her face] Are there cobwebs on my face? 'Cause it feels like there's cobwebs on my face.
Patrick: Never mind. She seems fine.
SpongeBob: Hold on just a little longer, Sandy, we're almost there. I can see sunlight.. [covers his face] ...horrible dehydrating sunlight. [shivers]
Sandy: Gimme that wheel, SquareButt. I know a shortcut. [the sub screeches around as SpongeBob and Patrick both scream]
SpongeBob: Make sure and hold her tight, Patrick.
Patrick: Don't worry. She's not going anywhere.
Sandy: Ahh... [licks her helmet and smacks her lips] You taste like glass. [hiccups]
SpongeBob:[the submarine reaches the surface] Blah! Fresh air. Let's hurry up and get this over with.
Patrick: Get what over with?
SpongeBob: Where's Sandy
Patrick: I thought she was with you.
SpongeBob: Uh-oh. [the engine revs]
Sandy: Hang on, fellers! I got a hankering for a Krabby Patty [the sub screeches downward as SpongeBob and Patrick both scream]
SpongeBob: Sandy, what are you doing? The air is up there.
Sandy: Yeah, yeah. Right after I grab a quick bit at the Krusty Krab. Yee-haw.
SpongeBob and Patrick: No! [the submarine crashes on the rooftop of the Krusty Krab before Sandy's gauge gets empty]
Sandy: Oh, well, I guess I won't be needing this anymore. [takes off her helmet, which the ocean water fills, before eating a Krabby Patty]
SpongeBob: No Sandy, you need air, not food! [shoots the Krabby Patty out of Sandy's mouth with her tail]
Mr. Krabs: Hey! What's going on out here?
SpongeBob:[as Sandy holds her breath in] Mr. Krabs, Sandy's run out of that crazy air stuff that she needs to breathe. We have to find some right now or she'll be headed for the last roundup.
Mr. Krabs: Well, okay. I suppose I can't have her croaking at the Krusty Krab. That'd be bad for business. All right, let's see here. Hmm... Oxygen. "O2," I believe. Good old atomic number eight.
Patrick: Uh--uh-- [his bones crack] Hey, everyone. Look! There's some air bubbles trapped on the ceiling.
Mr. Krabs: But how are you gonna get them down?
SpongeBob: Never fear. I know what to do. We can use these straws to suck the bubbles down.
Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute. Those straws cost me money!
SpongeBob:[while connecting the straws together] Oh, don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I'll put them all back.
Patrick: Hurry up, SpongeBob. I'm no doctor, but I don't think squirrels are suppose to be blue.
SpongeBob: Okay, I'm ready.
Patrick: Just a little bit further. Okay, got it.
SpongeBob: Hurry up, Patrick. [Patrick starts sucking bubbles with straws]
Sandy: Hm-mmm. [Patrick holds a nut before Sandy sniffs it and punches Patrick]
Patrick: Looks like her color's coming back.
SpongeBob: That's good, but is it gonna be good enough? Mr. Krabs, you must have some spare Squidward always says you're full of hot air.
Squidward: I said what?
Mr. Krabs: So you think I'm full of hot air, do ye? Well, in this case, you're right. There's usually an air bubble or two trapped inside me shell. [to Sandy] Go ahead. Don't be shy. [Sandy grunts and puts her head on Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob starts clicking Mr. Krabs' arm back and fourth]
Pearl: Daddy, there's a submarine on the roof. Oh, you seem kind of busy. Maybe I should come back later.
SpongeBob:[stops Pearl] No, Pearl. Don't go. You're a mammal, right?
Pearl: Yeah, I guess so.
SpongeBob: And you breathe air, right?
Pearl: Sure, my nose is full of it.
SpongeBob: You've got t.o help Sandy. She needs to share your air.
Sandy:[whimpers while being held by SpongeBob]
Pearl: I guess us mammals have to stick together.
SpongeBob: Okay, hold still. This may pinch a little [places Sandy on Pearl's head] Okay, Pearl let 'er rip. [Pearl breaths and Sandy inflates] Now just keep breathing, Pearl. Come with me, Patrick. I have an idea that'll fix everything. [they go outside to the back] I'm gonna go up to the surface to get some air. [while tying a rope around his foot] When I tug on this rope, you pull me down.
Patrick: But how are you going to get up there?
SpongeBob: I'll use this tank of oxygen as a makeshift rocket.
Patrick: An oxygen tank! Great idea, buddy.
SpongeBob: I know. Wish me luck, old friend. [uses a wrench and opens the oxygen tank]
Patrick:[salutes] SquarePants, I salute you.
SpongeBob:[gets to the surface before he gasps, then he opens the jar of bubble soap and pours it on his head] Okay, SpongeBob, it's time to catch a breath for Sandy. [inhales] So fresh it hurts. [squeaks and forms a huge air bubble] Okay, Patrick, pull me down. [tugs the rope with his leg]
Patrick: Hey, who did that? Hey! Oh! Ghosts! [screams before running away]
SpongeBob: Yeah, here we go. [goes underwater]
Patrick: Ah, ah! Oof! [starts rolling down the hill and rolls into Sandy's treedome with the big bubble]