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Bubble Buddy
Season №: 2
Episode №: 23b
Airdate: November 16, 2000
Previous: "Big Pink Loser"
Next: "Dying for Pie"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Bubble Buddy" from season two, which aired on November 16, 2000.

  • Narrator: Every day is a holiday for SpongeBob, even if he has to make one up.
  • SpongeBob: [jumps out of bed] Hey everybody! It's Leif Ericcson Day! Hinga-dinga-durgin! Ahoy, Patrick! It's Leif Ericcson Day! There's a note.
  • Patrick: [as note] SpongeBob, went to get more giant paper. Uhhhh...Patrick. P.S. Happy Leif Erikson Day! Yingin-hinga- dinga!
  • SpongeBob: Aww... so much for that. Maybe Sandy will play with me. [throws his costume away] Another note.
  • Sandy: [as note] SpongeBob, went south for the winter. Love, Sandy.
  • SpongeBob: I don't get it. The water's fine. [scene shows the treedome snowing inside] Hey Squidward! Want to play?
  • Squidward: [as note] No.
  • SpongeBob: Are you sure?
  • Squidward: [as note] Yes.
  • SpongeBob: Darn. I wish I had a buddy to play with. I know! I'll make one! Stick Buddy! [lets go of the stick which falls to the ground] Nah... [scene cuts to SpongeBob standing next to a pile of rocks] Rock Buddy! Nope... [scene cuts to SpongeBob standing next to a sink] Sink Buddy! "[Sink Buddy drips a little water]" Almost... [scene cuts to SpongeBob again] I've got it! [dips his bubble wand into bubble soap and blows a human shape-like bubble] Bubble Buddy! [scene cuts to SpongeBob and Bubble Buddy on the seesaw]! [scene cuts to SpongeBob going up to the Krusty Krab with his bubble] I can't wait for you to meet Squidward and Mr. Krabs. [SpongeBob walks in the Krusty Krab but his bubble just floats at the door] Don't be shy, come on! [SpongeBob squeezes the bubble through the doors]
  • Squidward: Please come again. When I'm not working. Next.
  • SpongeBob: Hi Squidward!
  • Squidward: How am I supposed to enjoy your day off if you come to work anyway?
  • SpongeBob: I want you to meet my new friend, Bubble Buddy!
  • Squidward: This bubble is your friend? [sees his reflection in Bubble Buddy's face; giggles] Well, he's handsome, I'll give him that. What'll it be?
  • SpongeBob: Oh, I'm not hungry.
  • Squidward: Well, thanks for stopping by.
  • SpongeBob: Wait! You haven't taken Bubble Buddy's order yet!
  • Squidward: Why would I do that?
  • SpongeBob: He's hungry.
  • Squidward: He's an inanimate object, his money's no good here!
  • Mr. Krabs: [comes out of the register] What are you saying, Mr. Squidward? Everyone's money is good here. [a criminal is eating a Krabby Patty] At the Krusty Krab, we serves all kinds.
  • Squidward: I'm not taking an order for a bubble.
  • Mr. Krabs: Sure you are! Or I'll fill your life with misery and woe. [goes back to the cash register, then he peeks at Squidward] Even if you quit. [goes back into the cash register again]
  • Squidward: May I take your order?
  • SpongeBob: Wait, Bubble Buddy. Let me decide for you. [reads the menu] Hmmm. Krabby Patty, Double Patty Patty, Krabby Junior Junior, Jumbo Small Patty, Junior Senior Sophomore Patty, Quarter Ouncer Double Pounder...ohh, it's all so good! He'll just have one of everything. [Mr. Krabs explodes through the cash register]
  • Mr. Krabs: One of everything?! Whoopee! [rips off his shirt and applies a tattoo on himself that has a heart and the words "Bubble Buddy" through it] I love Bubble Buddy! Squidward, show our best customer to his table. [points his eyes to a table in the opposite direction]
  • SpongeBob: Bubble Buddy's thirsty.
  • Squidward: How about a glass of our finest shampoo? [laughs]
  • SpongeBob: Sounds great! [Squidward looks annoyed that he took his comment literally, walks off and returns with a shampoo bottle with a straw in it]
  • Squidward: Here's your hair care product, sir.
  • SpongeBob: Uhh, Bubble Buddy likes bendy straws. [Squidward bends the straw] Huh, what's that? Bubble Buddy says it tastes funny. What do you think?
  • Squidward: Mr. Krabs!
  • Mr. Krabs: [chews and spits a Krabby Patty for an old lady to eat] Think of the customer.
  • Squidward: [drinks shampoo] Oh, silly me. I got the diet shampoo. Here we go, one of everything for Bubble Buddy.
  • SpongeBob: Oh no, Squidward, wait! There's cheese on these patties!
  • Squidward: And?
  • SpongeBob: Bubble Buddy's lactose-intolerant, he can't eat cheese! What should we do?
  • Squidward: We? How about you take these patties and sh...
  • Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward! [walks off with the cart]
  • SpongeBob: Don't worry, Bubble Buddy. Squidward will make a fresh batch.
  • Squidward: What, is he allergic to bread, too?
  • SpongeBob: Actually he doesn't like the crust. And Squidward, the ketchup should be under the patty. And Squidward, the pickles should be on the left side. And Squidward, you should... And Squidward... And Squidward... And Squidward... And Squidward...
  • Squidward: Here, one of everything! No cheese, no crust, pickles to the left, four squirts of ketchup, wheat buns, non-dairy lettuce, and farm-raised tomatoes carnival-style! [sets a bigger ferris wheel on the table] And if there's anything else I can do, please hesitate to ask.
  • SpongeBob: That was delicious! Money's on the table, Mr. Krabs! [Mr. Krabs waves]
  • Mr. Krabs: So long, boys! You see Squidward, the restaurant game is all about service. The customer is always right. Remember that, lad, and you'll be as successful as me one day.
  • Squidward: Oh, you're right, Mr. Krabs. I learned my lesson. And by the way, Bubble Buddy picked up the tab. [hands Mr. Krabs a $100 bill made of bubbles]
  • Mr. Krabs: What's this?
  • Squidward: Bubble money. [$100 bill pops. Squidward shows his hand full of bubble change] At least they left a tip! [all the bubbles pop as Mr. Krabs and Squidward get angry. Scene cuts to Goo Lagoon]
  • SpongeBob: Here we are Bubble Buddy, Goo Lagoon. There are lots of ways to have fun here. [Scooter runs up to SpongeBob]
  • Scooter: Dudes, bury me! [laughs]
  • SpongeBob: See what I mean? [fade cut] All done!
  • Scooter: [buried under the sand] All right!
  • SpongeBob: Bubble Buddy, you dig him out while I get some cotton candy.
  • Scooter: Don't just stand there dude, the tide's coming in. [laughs. Water reaches him] Dude?
  • SpongeBob: [places Bubble Buddy inside] My friend's in there.
  • Harold: Congratulations.
  • SpongeBob: [goes to the music and he dances along] Woo! Shake it! Shake it! Yeah! Shake that bubble butt! Yeah! [everyone looks at their behind and they leave in embarrassment]
  • Pearl: It's the world-famous surf punk, Grubby Grouper!
  • Grubby Grouper: Later, groupies! [shakes Pearl's hand] Grubby's got to go catch some gnarly pounders. Ahoo!
  • Pearl: [looks at her fin which is dirty now] Oh, I'll never wash this flipper again. [SpongeBob walks up with Bubble Buddy]
  • SpongeBob: Hey Pearl! Shake hands with Bubble Buddy! [rubs Bubble Buddy's hands on Pearl's dirty flipper, her flipper is now clean. Pearl sobs. Scene cuts to the port-o-potty] It's his first time on his own.
  • Harold: Once again, congratulations. [later, the line is longer. Picture scrolls over to where we see a sign that reads '45 minutes from this point']
  • Man: Popcorn! Peanuts!
  • Lou: [sounding desperate] Ice cold drinks!
  • Harold: [camera stops on Harold and SpongeBob as SpongeBob whistles and Peterson struggles to hold it in. unable to take the wait anymore] Two hours is long enough! That's it! [opens the port-o-potty door to see a bubble]
  • SpongeBob: Hey Bubble Buddy, you're finished! [takes Bubble Buddy away, leaving everybody to glare at them]
  • Francis: He kept us waiting for a bubble?
  • Larry: That's nothing! He called us fat![along with others, begins crunching on celery stalk]
  • Pearl: [crying as she shows her clean flipper] He washed my flipper!
  • Mr. Krabs: [storming up] He owes me money!
  • Squidward: [following Mr. Krabs] He made me provide excellent service!
  • Scooter: [appears with a halo and angel clothing on] Dudes! He made me experience high tide! [floats up towards the surface while laughing]
  • Tom: He poisoned our water supply, burned our crops and delivered a plague unto our houses!
  • Protesters: He did?
  • Tom: No... But are we gonna wait around until he does?
  • Mr. Krabs: I say we tip something over! [all yelling]
  • Lifeguard: Hey, hey, hey! [everyone tips the lifeguard stand]
  • Protester: Now what?
  • Protesters: Get the lifeguard! [they go to the lifeguard, but Squidward stops them]
  • Squidward: Wait! Don't waste this senseless violence on him! It's that stupid bubble of SpongeBob's that's causing all the problems! [holds up a needle] Who's with me?
  • Protesters: [all hold a needle] Pop the bubble! [all yelling]
  • SpongeBob: [everybody surrounds them] Hey everyone! Have you met my friend, Bubble Buddy?
  • Protesters: Yes...
  • SpongeBob: Hey, is this one of those sewing circles?
  • Protesters: No... [group steps in closer]
  • SpongeBob: Would you mind not getting so close with those pins? Pointy objects make Bubble Buddy uncomfortable.
  • Larry: SpongeBob, that bubble's got to go.
  • SpongeBob: Oh no, he already took care of that, but thanks for your concern.
  • Pearl: No. "Go" as in... [blows a bubble gum till it pops]
  • SpongeBob: [screams] Why?
  • Mr. Krabs: You and that bubble have been nothing but trouble! It's time to end it!
  • SpongeBob: No! I won't let you! [blows Bubble Buddy until they begin floating] Here we go! You'll never catch us now! Never! Ha haa! Never! [both start to get lower to the ground and the group surrounds them both again] Never...
  • Squidward: Enough sea-horsing around, SpongeBob! Give us that bubble!
  • Protesters: Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble!
  • SpongeBob: No! You can't! He's not just a bubble, he's a Bubble Buddy! He's my friend and I love him! Haven't you ever had a very special friend?
  • Mr. Krabs: [starts crying] Nickel Buddy, I'll never spend you!
  • Sheldon: Funny Muffler...
  • Larry: Jerky Pal...
  • Harold: Boo-boo Keys...
  • Man: Snake Eyes... [together with Harold] We love you! [burst into tears]
  • SpongeBob: So, what do you say?
  • Protesters: [look at each other, then they bring out their needles] Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble! [throw SpongeBob away]
  • Squidward: Let's get this over with so I can go home and play my clarinet!
  • SpongeBob: Noo... [Squidward charges his needle towards Bubble Buddy in a slow dramatic manner, while SpongeBob begs them to stop. But then suddenly Bubble Buddy grabs ahold of Squidward's hand before the needle reaches the former]
  • Bubble Buddy: Whoa! [all except SpongeBob gasp] Hey, don't I get a say in this? I'll see you later, SpongeBob. Things are getting a little weird around here.
  • SpongeBob: So long. [Bubble Buddy gets into a bubble taxi and it floats away as it drives off]
  • Bubble Buddy: Happy Leif Ericcson Day!
  • Squidward: He's... alive?
  • SpongeBob: Of course! Otherwise he couldn't tell such funny jokes! [laughs as everyone walks off muttering and agreeing with Bubble Buddy's departure] Seems like only this morning I held his bottle. [sniffles] They blow up so fast. [weeps tears of joy while blowing his nose and runs off. A bunch of bubbles pop near Squidward except for one]
  • Squidward: [thinking bubble is alive like Bubble Buddy] Uh...hi?

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