"Boat Smarts" is a SpongeBob SquarePants episode from season five. In this episode, Mrs. Puff hosts a documentary about good and bad boaters, starring SpongeBob and Squidward.
This episode is a boating video put together by Mrs. Puff and sponsored by C.O.B.B.U.T.K.S.B.S.P.O.T.R.A.O.O.B.A.T.: (Citizens Of Bikini Bottom United To Keep SpongeBob SquarePants Off The Road And Out Of Boats All Together). Mrs. Puff first introduces herself and discusses the good and bad drivers (Squidward is the one with the Boat Smarts, and SpongeBob is the one without it).
A driver with boat smarts fills his (or her) tire up to the appropriate level, but a driver without boat smarts pays no attention to how much air he (or she) is using. Squidward fills it up to the exact measurement while SpongeBob pumps it up too much, making the boat tip over, crushing half of Squidward's boat and having the wheel pop right in front of his face.
The next section is about buckling up. This shows Squidward in a boat mobile with his seatbelt in the proper manner. He then starts driving until he sees a Bikini Bottom Traffic light and he stops. Once Squidward stops, we see SpongeBob crazily speeding around a corner with no regard for safety and probably with no seatbelt on. He hits Squidward who goes flying into a steamroller. He gets severely hurt.
In the next scene, it shows Squidward adjusting his mirrors before he begins to start the boat. Squidward starts the boat and begins to drive. SpongeBob adjusts his mirror dangerously while turning the steering wheel with one leg. He hits many fish, although he does not know because he is focusing on the mirror. He then swerves right in front of Squidward. SpongeBob adjusts the other mirror and hits Squidward with a beam of light and he is almost blinded until he puts on sunglasses. But Squidward did not see a wall and crashes into it. It shows a crash dummy, although instead of the head it shows Squidward's.
Mrs. Puff is in Squidward's boat talking about not drinking or eating while driving. Squidward is driving well, as usual. Mrs. Puff explains how Squidward's eyes are locked firmly on the road. SpongeBob is then shown swerving while eating a hamburger and reading a magazine. When some fish are behind him, he turns around and says: "Hi there!," causing them to crash. Eventually, there is a huge stockpile of cars and the owners are furious. SpongeBob still speeds past, runs over a puddle and slides around saying: "Wheeeeeee!" SpongeBob then says hi to Mrs. Puff and Squidward when SpongeBob's boat slips on a mini pebble, strangely making his boat act as a ramp in which Squidward's boat travel over. They fly into the big stockpile of all the cars and it makes a huge crash. Mrs. Puff blows up very fast and SpongeBob drives past saying: "Looks like you guys forgot your Boat Smarts!," he smiles and drives off, and Mrs. Puff and Squidward are not amused, making dust and the low-quality video tape recorder stops with Mrs. Puff saying: "Never mind," ending the episode.
- Squidward gets squeezed through the steamroller because he is unable to take off his seatbelt in time.
- Squidward's head gets smashed into the windshield and slides.
- Several citizens were run over by SpongeBob's boat while SpongeBob was adjusting his mirror and not focusing on the road.
- SpongeBob's face is wiped off.
Destruction and Abuse
- SpongeBob's boat tire is deflated after pumping too much air in it.
- Squidward's boat is smashed in half.
- Squidward's boat is collided by SpongeBob's boat, causing the seat to go off.
- Squidward's boat gets crashed into a wall, turning into a crash test dummy with his head.
- Sadie's boat gets crashed into a lamp post.
- Several boats were flipped over by SpongeBob's boat, causing an accident.
- Squidward's boat was destroyed in the crash.
|( ‣ ) Associated production music|
|( • ) Original music|
|( ◦ ) SpongeBob music|
‣ Horlepiep - Jan Rap [title card]
‣ Pageantry Processional - Ronald Hanmer [brought to you by COBBUTKSBSPOTRAOOBAT]
‣ Busy Life - Cedric King-Palmer ["Good day, future motorists."]
‣ Shopping Spree - Harry Bluestone* [tire pressure]
‣ The Wheels of Industry - Robert Sharples [buckling up]
‣ Highly Strung - George French [adjusting mirrors]
‣ Shopping Spree - Laurie Johnson [avoiding distractions]
- As of January 29, 2017, The Internet Movie Database (IMDB) gives this episode a rating of 7.1/10 based on 151 ratings by users. TV.com users give this episode a rating of 8/10 based on 130 votes.
- This episode marks the second time the title card is shown in the episode itself, but here it says "Boat Smarts with Mrs. Puff" instead of "Boat Smarts." The first time this happens is in "Karate Island."
- This is the second episode to be based as a training video. The first is "Krusty Krab Training Video."
- This episode has deliberate "line artifacts" as seen in old-fashioned analog films.
- Ironically, Squidward does not drive very often. Usually, he is either walking or biking. He does, however, drive in "Boating Buddies," which is when he gets his first ticket.
- When Squidward crashes into the brick wall, a reference to crash-test dummies is made.
- On the TV version of this episode, when the crash test dummy that Squidward crashes into the wall, his mouth opens as he says "Ow;" on the DVD version, when the crash test dummy that Squidward crashes into the wall, his mouth does not open as he says "Ow" but the audio is still heard.
- In the Croatian dub, the episode's title is "Škola Brodarenja za Neznalice," which means "Boating School for Dummies."
- This is, to date, the only time in the series where a character refers to a mythological deity other than King Neptune and his family, although since Neptune himself is a god, it may have been referring to him.
- Squidward had no mirrors at the start, then one mirror appeared on the left side, and when he started driving, he had two mirrors. Then, later in the episode, all mirrors disappear.
- When Squidward is driving the boat, he is on the left side. In the scene where he crashes into the brick wall, he is shown to be on the right side of the boat.