SpongeBob SquarePants

Astrology with Squidward (transcript)

on ESB
Sb45 " Spon...Spo...Spo...!"

This SpongeBob SquarePants episode transcript is incomplete. You can help the SpongeBob SquarePants Wiki by suggesting additions on the talk page.

Arrow Right
Transcript Information
Spin-off series №: 1
Airdate: 2000 to 2001
Next: The Endless Summer
List of short transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants spin-off series "Astrology with Squidward," which aired from 2000 to 2001.


  • Narrator: And now, Astrology with Squidward.
  • Squidward: [episode ends with Squidward playing the clarinet badly] Say 'Happy Birthday' to Taurus the bull. Taurus is the most clumsy and oafish of all zodiac signs. They tend to break delicate objects just by walking past them. If no one ever invites you to their house you're probably a Taurus. From now on, only buy things made out of rubber. My prediction for Taurus in the coming year: you will eat a wide variety of different foods. [gong sounds] I'm Squidward, your Nicktoon Astrologer, reminding you no matter what your sign, you owe me five dollars. [plays clarinet]


  • Narrator: And now, Astrology with Squidward.
  • Squidward: [plays clarinet] Happy birthday to Cancer, sign of the crab. Not all Cancerius are crabby but they are all good at causing problems and blaming them on others. Many famous fibbers and elected officials are Cancers. My prediction for Cancer: This week you will fall asleep seven times. Don't worry you'll wake up. [gong sounds] I'm your Nicktoon Astrologer, Squidward, reminding you that it's bad karma to eat animated seafood. [plays clarinet]


  • Narrator: And now, Astrology with Squidward.
  • Squidward: [plays clarinet badly] Let's take a look at Gemini, sign of the twins. If you're a Gemini, you've probably experienced deja vu, a feeling that this moment has happened before. This month, Gemini's moon is in Uranus, so, you smell funny. Vibration for Gemini, you'll experience deja vu. [gong crashes] Meaning that this moment has happened before. I'm Squidward, your Nicktoon astrologer, reminding you not to touch my stuff [plays clarinet]

Wikia Spotlight

Random Wiki