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Changes: Are You Happy Now?/transcript

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{{EpisodeTr
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{{EpisodeTr/169a}}
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|title = Are You Happy Now?
  
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|titlecard = areyouhappynow.PNG
  
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|seasonnumber = 8
  
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|episodenumber = 169a
  
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|airdate = [[March 31]], [[2012]]
  
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}}
  
 
{{L|''[opening shot of The Krusty Krab]''}}
  
{{L|''[opening shot of The Krusty Krab]''}}
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{{L|Narrator|Ahhh... The Krusty Krab, Bikini Bottom's answers to fine dining and here we see's patios ''[Patrick run away from the back of the Krusty Krab droping grease across his path]'' Ahhh... yes, Maybe not, It is the SpongeBob, creator of the frying grease, now, just watch.}}
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{{L|Narrator|Ahhh... The Krusty Krab, Bikini Bottom's answers to fine dining and here we see patios ''[Patrick runs away from the back of the Krusty Krab dropping grease across his path]'' Ahhh... yes, Maybe not, It is the SpongeBob, creator of the frying grease, now, just watch.}}
 
{{L|Squidward|One Krabby Patty, extra grease. ''[SpongeBob laughs many times]'' All right, let's see that, The Krusty Krab work schedule, what's so great about that?}}
  
{{L|Squidward|One Krabby Patty, extra grease. ''[SpongeBob laughs many times]'' All right, let's see that, The Krusty Krab work schedule, what's so great about that?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|It's where my happiest memories ever occurred.}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|It's where my happiest memories ever occurred.}}
 
{{L|Squidward|Hmmm... ''[drops SpongeBob's book]'' Oops, I accidentally burnt up your memories.}}
  
{{L|Squidward|Hmmm... ''[drops SpongeBob's book]'' Oops, I accidentally burnt up your memories.}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Don't worry, Squidward... ''[walks to his cabinet and opens it]'' ...I have a whole cabinet of backups. ''(Squidward deflates)'' So what's ''your'' happiest memory, Squidward?}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Don't worry, Squidward... ''[walks to his cabinet and opens it]'' ...I have a whole cabinet of backups. ''(Squidward deflates)'' So what's ''your'' happiest memory, Squidward?}}
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{{L|Squidward|Ummmmm...Let me think... ''[thinks a TV]'' Hmmm. I guess I don't have a happiest memory. Oh, well. ''[walks away]''}}
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{{L|Squidward|Ummmmm... Let me think... ''[thinks a TV]'' Hmmm. I guess I don't have a happiest memory. Oh, well. ''[walks away]''}}
 
{{L|''[SpongeBob thinks]''}}
  
{{L|''[SpongeBob thinks]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward|Yes?!}}
  
{{L|Squidward|Yes?!}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, with joy, Squidward, with joy.}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh, with joy, Squidward, with joy.}}
 
{{L|Squidward|Look, I don't need a happy memory, so get back to your corollary grease factory to leave me alone.}}
  
{{L|Squidward|Look, I don't need a happy memory, so get back to your corollary grease factory to leave me alone.}}
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{{L|Customer|Hey, I'd like to order a Krabby Patty. ''[Squidward cries]'' Ok...Can someone else take my order?}}
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{{L|Customer|Hey, I'd like to order a Krabby Patty. ''[Squidward cries]'' Okay... Can someone else take my order?}}
 
{{L|''[SpongeBob pops out from Squidward's boat and cries with Squidward]''}} 
  
{{L|''[SpongeBob pops out from Squidward's boat and cries with Squidward]''}} 
 
{{L|Squidward|You're right, SpongeBob, I don't have a happy memory. This is horrible.}}
  
{{L|Squidward|You're right, SpongeBob, I don't have a happy memory. This is horrible.}}
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{{L|Squidward|Really? Do you think you can?}}
  
{{L|Squidward|Really? Do you think you can?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|No problem.}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|No problem.}}
−
{{L|Squidward|Well, it's against my better judgement, but, ok.}}
 +
{{L|Squidward|Well, it's against my better judgement, but, okay.}}
 
{{L|''[at the concert, the song plays]''}}
  
{{L|''[at the concert, the song plays]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|You love music, right, Squidward?}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|You love music, right, Squidward?}}
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{{L|Squidward|Hey, this isn't so bad. I think I actually feel kinda...happy!}}
  
{{L|Squidward|Hey, this isn't so bad. I think I actually feel kinda...happy!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|See? Your happiest memory is forming!}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|See? Your happiest memory is forming!}}
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{{L|''[Nat plays his violin but his stick launches from it]''}}
 +
{{L|''[Nat plays his violin but his bow launches from it]''}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Oops. That was a sour note. ''[Notices the violin stick on Squidward's eye]''}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob|Oops. That was a sour note. ''[Notices the violin bow on Squidward's eye]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward|This is not my happiest memory...}}
  
{{L|Squidward|This is not my happiest memory...}}
 
{{L|''[Bubble transition to the Museum]''}}
  
{{L|''[Bubble transition to the Museum]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward|Why are we at the Art Museum?}}
  
{{L|Squidward|Why are we at the Art Museum?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Well, you love art. Maybe you'll find a happiest moment in here!}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Well, you love art. Maybe you'll find a happiest moment in here!}}
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{{L|Squidward|Great...I get to see all the art of people who have succeeded where I've failed. My art will never be shown in this...''[Walks into a statue resembling him]'' What the? This...this is my sculpture! How did it get here?}}
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{{L|Squidward|Great... I get to see all the art of people who have succeeded where I've failed. My art will never be shown in this... ''[Walks into a statue resembling him]'' What the? This... this is my sculpture! How did it get here?}}
 
{{L|Art Critic|''[Walks up to Squidward's sculpture along with a group of fish]'' Oh! You're just in time! Art lovers, this is Squidward Tentacles! Creator of this piece! ''[The group is in awe]''}}
  
{{L|Art Critic|''[Walks up to Squidward's sculpture along with a group of fish]'' Oh! You're just in time! Art lovers, this is Squidward Tentacles! Creator of this piece! ''[The group is in awe]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Wow! Your work at a museum Squidward!}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Wow! Your work at a museum Squidward!}}
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{{L|Art Critic|And now the performance artist Fiasco will say a few words about this piece ''[camera shifts over to Fiasco]''}}
  
{{L|Art Critic|And now the performance artist Fiasco will say a few words about this piece ''[camera shifts over to Fiasco]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward|Gosh! Fiasco himself is talking about my art!}}
  
{{L|Squidward|Gosh! Fiasco himself is talking about my art!}}
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{{L|Fiasco|Ahem! Squid...ward...go toward...the light...''[takes out a flamethrower]'' of my flamethrower! ''[burns down Squiward's sculpture and the Art Critic's group claps for him]''}}
 +
{{L|Fiasco|Ahem! Squid... ward... go toward... the light... ''[takes out a flamethrower]'' of my flamethrower! ''[burns down Squidward's sculpture and the Art Critic's group claps for him]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward|And now he's melted it...''[Fiasco takes away the sign "Created by Squidward Tentacles" and replaces it with "Burned by Fiasco"]'' Not a happiest memory...}}
  
{{L|Squidward|And now he's melted it...''[Fiasco takes away the sign "Created by Squidward Tentacles" and replaces it with "Burned by Fiasco"]'' Not a happiest memory...}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Um...it's kinda smokey in here! ''[grabs Squidward's arm]'' You need fresh air!}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Um... it's kinda smokey in here! ''[grabs Squidward's arm]'' You need fresh air!}}
 
{{L|''[Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Squidward (who is blindfolded) in a hot air balloon]''}}
  
{{L|''[Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Squidward (who is blindfolded) in a hot air balloon]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|What a majestic view!}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|What a majestic view!}}
 
{{L|Squidward|What view?}}
  
{{L|Squidward|What view?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh yeah! I forgot about your blindfold! ''[removes Squidward's blindfold]'' Isn't it beautiful?}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh yeah! I forgot about your blindfold! ''[removes Squidward's blindfold]'' Isn't it beautiful?}}
−
{{L|Squidward|''[looks down at his house]'' Very nice...except that I'm AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!!!}}
 +
{{L|Squidward|''[looks down at his house]'' Very nice... except that I'm AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh! Sorry Squidward! I'll take us down! ''[takes out a needle]''}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Oh! Sorry Squidward! I'll take us down! ''[takes out a needle]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward| Wait! No! ''[SpongeBob pops the balloon]'' Oh boy... [he and SpongeBob start flying around and crash into a mountain. he knocks away the basket and notices SpongeBob's behind]'' Oh yeah...nice view...}}
  
{{L|Squidward| Wait! No! ''[SpongeBob pops the balloon]'' Oh boy... [he and SpongeBob start flying around and crash into a mountain. he knocks away the basket and notices SpongeBob's behind]'' Oh yeah...nice view...}}
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{{L|SpongeBob|Hey! We're the first to ever reach the top of Mt. Bikini! Surely that makes for a happiest memory! I claim this mountain in the name of Squidward Tentacles! ''[accidentally jams the flag onto Squidward's foot]''}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Hey! We're the first to ever reach the top of Mt. Bikini! Surely that makes for a happiest memory! I claim this mountain in the name of Squidward Tentacles! ''[accidentally jams the flag onto Squidward's foot]''}}
 
{{L|Squidward|''[removes the flag from his foot and notices the mountain starting to shake]'' Uh oh...''[the snow starts to carry him and SpongeBob down the mountain]''}}
  
{{L|Squidward|''[removes the flag from his foot and notices the mountain starting to shake]'' Uh oh...''[the snow starts to carry him and SpongeBob down the mountain]''}}
−
{{L|Harold|Stupid amateurs...''[stops walking and notices the snow]'' Fantastic...''[the snow carries him, SpongeBob, and Squidward onto Conch Street]''}}
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{{L|Harold|Stupid amateurs... ''[stops walking and notices the snow]'' Fantastic... ''[the snow carries him, SpongeBob, and Squidward onto Conch Street]''}}
−
{{L|Squidward|Time to face facts. I'll never have a happiest memory. ''[opens the snow up like a door and walks out then turns to SpongeBob]'' And if I do, it definitely won't involve you. ''[closes the snow door on SpongeBob and locks it; then walks inside his house and closes the door]'' Hello misery...I'm home...''[walks up the stairs and gets on his bed]'' I might as well go to bed for a hundred years or so. ''[lays down in bed]'' Wake me when I'm dead...''[rolls under his bed]''}}
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{{L|Squidward|Time to face facts. I'll never have a happiest memory. ''[opens the snow up like a door and walks out then turns to SpongeBob]'' And if I do, it definitely won't involve you. ''[closes the snow door on SpongeBob and locks it; then walks inside his house and closes the door]'' Hello misery... I'm home... ''[walks up the stairs and gets on his bed]'' I might as well go to bed for a hundred years or so. ''[lays down in bed]'' Wake me when I'm dead... ''[rolls under his bed]''}}
 
{{L|Narrator|Two weeks later...}}
  
{{L|Narrator|Two weeks later...}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob| ''[at his house]'' Gary, I am worried about Squidward. He hasn't come out of his house for two weeks now!}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob| ''[at his house]'' Gary, I am worried about Squidward. He hasn't come out of his house for two weeks now!}}
 
{{L|Gary|''[meows]''}}
  
{{L|Gary|''[meows]''}}
−
{{L|'''SpongeBob:''' ''[knocks Squidward's door]'' Why isn't he answering? ''[looks through Squidward's mail slot]'' Squidward! Squidward! Now I'm really worried! Squidward! SQUIDWARD! ''[notices Squidward through the window]'' Gasp! Squidward! Down here! He's upstairs! ''[near Squidward's window will sitting on top of Gary; then knocks on the window]'' Hey! Hey! Squidward! ''[Squidward pulls the blinds down on both windows]'' Well at least we know that he is still alive. Uh oh...''[Gary's shell falls off and SpongeBob lands on the ground; then runs into Squidward's house and Gary's shell cracks off of him]'' I'm okay Gary!}}
 +
{{L|'''SpongeBob:''' ''[knocks Squidward's door]'' Why isn't he answering? ''[looks through Squidward's mail slot]'' Squidward! Squidward! Now I'm really worried! Squidward! SQUIDWARD! ''[notices Squidward through the window]'' Gasp! Squidward! Down here! He's upstairs! ''[near Squidward's window will sitting on top of Gary; then knocks on the window]'' Hey! Hey! Squidward! ''[Squidward pulls the blinds down on both windows]'' Well at least we know that he is still alive. Uh oh... ''[Gary's shell falls off and SpongeBob lands on the ground; then runs into Squidward's house and Gary's shell cracks off of him]'' I'm okay Gary!}}
 
{{L|Gary|Meow...}}
  
{{L|Gary|Meow...}}
 
{{L|''[bubble transition to inside SpongeBob's house and near the phone]''}}
  
{{L|''[bubble transition to inside SpongeBob's house and near the phone]''}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob|Squidward sure seems depressed. I think I'll call him to cheer him up! ''[starts calling Squiward and he picks up the phone]'' Hello? Squidward? Are you there? ''[Squidward throws his phone out his window and into SpongeBob's house]'' Squidward? Are you there? Squidward?}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob|Squidward sure seems depressed. I think I'll call him to cheer him up! ''[starts calling Squidward and he picks up the phone]'' Hello? Squidward? Are you there? ''[Squidward throws his phone out his window and into SpongeBob's house]'' Squidward? Are you there? Squidward?}}
 
{{L|Gary|Meow?}}
  
{{L|Gary|Meow?}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Gary? What are you doing at Squidward's? Uh Gare? Can you put Squidward on the phone? ''[Notices Gary trying to give him another phone and takes it]'' Hold on a second, someone is on the other line. ''[echoing]'' Hello? Hello!? HELLO!? ''[Squidward's phone breaks]'' Hello? ''[his phone then breaks]''}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Gary? What are you doing at Squidward's? Uh Gare? Can you put Squidward on the phone? ''[Notices Gary trying to give him another phone and takes it]'' Hold on a second, someone is on the other line. ''[echoing]'' Hello? Hello!? HELLO!? ''[Squidward's phone breaks]'' Hello? ''[his phone then breaks]''}}
−
{{L|Squidward|I just can't seem to get happy...''[opens his oven and takes out burned food]'' Well, that didn't help...''[hears ringing; then walks over to his phone]'' Huh? That's strange, I could have swear I just threw that darn phone away. ''[notices his fax machine]'' Oh yeah. My fax machine. Now, why did I buy that again?}}
 +
{{L|Squidward|I just can't seem to get happy... ''[opens his oven and takes out burned food]'' Well, that didn't help... ''[hears ringing; then walks over to his phone]'' Huh? That's strange, I could have swear I just threw that darn phone away. ''[notices his fax machine]'' Oh yeah. My fax machine. Now, why did I buy that again?}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob|''[emerges from the fax machine and is in paperized form]'' Hi Squidward! ''[Squidward grabs him]'' You sure are a hard man to get ahold of! ''[sniffs]'' Do I smell brownies?}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[emerges from the fax machine and is in paperized form]'' Hi Squidward! ''[Squidward grabs him]'' You sure are a hard man to get a hold of! ''[sniffs]'' Hey, do I smell brownies?}}
−
{{L|Squidward|Yes...''[tosses SpongeBob into the paper shredder and picks the box up]'' Thanks for stopping by. ''[dumps SpongeBob out of his window then closes it]''}}
 +
{{L|Squidward|Yes... ''[tosses SpongeBob into the paper shredder and picks the box up]'' Thanks for stopping by. ''[dumps SpongeBob out of his window then closes it]''}}
−
{{L|Gary|Sigh...meow. ''[gathers up the bits of SpongeBob and puts him back together]''}}
 +
{{L|Gary|Sigh... meow. ''[gathers up the bits of SpongeBob and puts him back together]''}}
 
{{L|SpongeBob|Thanks Gary! I have to find a way to give Squidward a happiest memory. These pants may be square, but it's time to think outside the box!}}
  
{{L|SpongeBob|Thanks Gary! I have to find a way to give Squidward a happiest memory. These pants may be square, but it's time to think outside the box!}}
−
{{L|Squidward|''[grabs a rope]'' I can't seem to get happy...''[swings the rope over]'' Maybe this will help. ''[pulls on the rope to reveal a scallop in a cage but it sprays unknown liquid at him and the cage falls on his face; the scallop then flies away]'' Nope...I guess not...''[hears knocking]'' Oh great...I wonder who that could be...''[looks through the mail slot and notices the Mailfish]'' You're not SpongeBob.}}
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{{L|Squidward|''[grabs a rope]'' I can't seem to get happy... ''[swings the rope over]'' Maybe this will help. ''[pulls on the rope to reveal a scallop in a cage but it sprays unknown liquid at him and the cage falls on his face; the scallop then flies away]'' Nope... I guess not... ''[hears knocking]'' Oh great... I wonder who that could be... ''[looks through the mail slot and notices the Mailfish]'' You're not SpongeBob.}}
 
{{L|Mailfish|I have a package for a Squidward "Tentaclees"?}}
  
{{L|Mailfish|I have a package for a Squidward "Tentaclees"?}}
 
{{L|Squidward|"Tentacles". Yes that's me.}}
  
{{L|Squidward|"Tentacles". Yes that's me.}}
 
{{L|Mailfish|Well here you go. ''[gives Squidward the package]''}}
  
{{L|Mailfish|Well here you go. ''[gives Squidward the package]''}}
−
{{L|Squidward|Thanks...''[closes his door]'' Doesn't say who's it from. No doubt SpongeBob is hiding inside. Ah well, here goes nothing. ''[opens the package]'' GOTCHA! Huh? ''[notices it empty]'' It's empty. Empty, just like my miserable life! ''[SpongeBob emerges from the box]'' I see nothing but darkness ahead...''[SpongeBob taps him in another box]'' SpongeBob!? ''[starts muffling as SpongeBob takes him to the Krusty Krab; SpongeBob then opens the box]''}}
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{{L|Squidward|Thanks... ''[closes his door]'' Doesn't say who's it from. No doubt SpongeBob is hiding inside. Ah well, here goes nothing. ''[opens the package]'' GOTCHA! Huh? ''[notices it empty]'' It's empty. Empty, just like my miserable life! ''[SpongeBob emerges from the box]'' I see nothing but darkness ahead... ''[SpongeBob taps him in another box]'' SpongeBob!? ''[starts muffling as SpongeBob takes him to the Krusty Krab; SpongeBob then opens the box]''}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob|Surprise! I figured out you needed a party to help cheer you up! Unfortunately, everybody I tried to invite was busy or sick but don't worry! I used my paper mache skills to fill the party with your favorite person: me! ''[camera zooms out to show the Krusty Krab filled with paper mache SpongeBobs]'' So what do you think? Happiest memory or what?}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob|Surprise! I figured out you needed a party to help cheer you up! Unfortunately, everybody I tried to invite was busy or sick but don't worry! I used my paper mâché skills to fill the party with your favorite person: me! ''[camera zooms out to show the Krusty Krab filled with paper mâché SpongeBobs]'' So what do you think? Happiest memory or what?}}
−
{{L|Squidward|You don't seem to understand. ''[starts to get angry]'' I...don't...WANT...A...HAPPIEST MEMORY!!! ''[starts to go crazy and destroys the cake]''}}
 +
{{L|Squidward|You don't seem to understand. ''[starts to get angry]'' I... don't... WANT... A... HAPPIEST MEMORY! ''[starts to go crazy and destroys the cake]''}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob|''[talking to a paper mache SpongeBob]''So you enjoying the d'oevuers?}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob|''[talking to a paper mâché SpongeBob] ''So you enjoying the d'oevuers?}}
−
{{L|Squidward|''[rips the paper mache SpongeBob apart then saws more apart; then crawls to the ceiling and grabs the banner that says "Happy Happiest Memory Squidward" and kicks more of them away]'' I feel WONDERFUL! ''[screams and destroys more paper mache SpongeBobs]'' My happiest memory!}}
 +
{{L|Squidward|''[rips the paper mâché SpongeBob apart then saws more apart; then crawls to the ceiling and grabs the banner that says "Happy Happiest Memory Squidward" and kicks more of them away]'' I feel WONDERFUL! ''[Laughs maniacally and destroys more paper mâché SpongeBobs]'' This is it, my happiest memory!}}
−
{{L|SpongeBob|Sigh...he's so handsome!}}
 +
{{L|SpongeBob|Sigh... he's so handsome!}}

Revision as of 05:34, 14 December 2015

Template:EpisodeTr/169a

  • [opening shot of The Krusty Krab]
  • Narrator: Ahhh... The Krusty Krab, Bikini Bottom's answers to fine dining and here we see patios [Patrick runs away from the back of the Krusty Krab dropping grease across his path] Ahhh... yes, Maybe not, It is the SpongeBob, creator of the frying grease, now, just watch.
  • Squidward: One Krabby Patty, extra grease. [SpongeBob laughs many times] All right, let's see that, The Krusty Krab work schedule, what's so great about that?
  • SpongeBob: It's where my happiest memories ever occurred.
  • Squidward: Hmmm... [drops SpongeBob's book] Oops, I accidentally burnt up your memories.
  • SpongeBob: Don't worry, Squidward... [walks to his cabinet and opens it] ...I have a whole cabinet of backups. (Squidward deflates) So what's your happiest memory, Squidward?
  • Squidward: Ummmmm... Let me think... [thinks a TV] Hmmm. I guess I don't have a happiest memory. Oh, well. [walks away]
  • [SpongeBob thinks]
  • Squidward: Yes?!
  • SpongeBob: Squidward, you don't have a happiest memory?
  • Squidward: So what?
  • SpongeBob: How can you live without a happiest memory? Do you cry yourself to sleep.
  • Squidward: I hear you cry all the time.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, with joy, Squidward, with joy.
  • Squidward: Look, I don't need a happy memory, so get back to your corollary grease factory to leave me alone.
  • Customer: Hey, I'd like to order a Krabby Patty. [Squidward cries] Okay... Can someone else take my order?
  • [SpongeBob pops out from Squidward's boat and cries with Squidward] 
  • Squidward: You're right, SpongeBob, I don't have a happy memory. This is horrible.
  • SpongeBob: Don't worry, Squidward, I'll help you make a happiest memory.
  • Squidward: Really? Do you think you can?
  • SpongeBob: No problem.
  • Squidward: Well, it's against my better judgement, but, okay.
  • [at the concert, the song plays]
  • SpongeBob: You love music, right, Squidward?
  • Squidward: Mmm hmm.
  • SpongeBob: Then this will definitely be your happiest memory!
  • Squidward: Hey, this isn't so bad. I think I actually feel kinda...happy!
  • SpongeBob: See? Your happiest memory is forming!
  • [Nat plays his violin but his bow launches from it]
  • SpongeBob: Oops. That was a sour note. [Notices the violin bow on Squidward's eye]
  • Squidward: This is not my happiest memory...
  • [Bubble transition to the Museum]
  • Squidward: Why are we at the Art Museum?
  • SpongeBob: Well, you love art. Maybe you'll find a happiest moment in here!
  • Squidward: Great... I get to see all the art of people who have succeeded where I've failed. My art will never be shown in this... [Walks into a statue resembling him] What the? This... this is my sculpture! How did it get here?
  • Art Critic: [Walks up to Squidward's sculpture along with a group of fish] Oh! You're just in time! Art lovers, this is Squidward Tentacles! Creator of this piece! [The group is in awe]
  • SpongeBob: Wow! Your work at a museum Squidward!
  • Squidward: [Excited] Gosh! I can't believe it! I think this might be it!
  • SpongeBob: Your happiest memory?
  • Squidward: Yeah!
  • Art Critic: And now the performance artist Fiasco will say a few words about this piece [camera shifts over to Fiasco]
  • Squidward: Gosh! Fiasco himself is talking about my art!
  • Fiasco: Ahem! Squid... ward... go toward... the light... [takes out a flamethrower] of my flamethrower! [burns down Squidward's sculpture and the Art Critic's group claps for him]
  • Squidward: And now he's melted it...[Fiasco takes away the sign "Created by Squidward Tentacles" and replaces it with "Burned by Fiasco"] Not a happiest memory...
  • SpongeBob: Um... it's kinda smokey in here! [grabs Squidward's arm] You need fresh air!
  • [Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Squidward (who is blindfolded) in a hot air balloon]
  • SpongeBob: What a majestic view!
  • Squidward: What view?
  • SpongeBob: Oh yeah! I forgot about your blindfold! [removes Squidward's blindfold] Isn't it beautiful?
  • Squidward: [looks down at his house] Very nice... except that I'm AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!
  • SpongeBob: Oh! Sorry Squidward! I'll take us down! [takes out a needle]
  • Squidward: Wait! No! [SpongeBob pops the balloon] Oh boy... [he and SpongeBob start flying around and crash into a mountain. he knocks away the basket and notices SpongeBob's behind] Oh yeah...nice view...
  • Harold: [reaches the top] Son of a seahorse! Twenty years of training and a couple of amateurs just leap out of a balloon! Here! [gives SpongeBob his flag] You plant it! [walks back down] All that time and money and resources wasted on...
  • SpongeBob: Hey! We're the first to ever reach the top of Mt. Bikini! Surely that makes for a happiest memory! I claim this mountain in the name of Squidward Tentacles! [accidentally jams the flag onto Squidward's foot]
  • Squidward: [removes the flag from his foot and notices the mountain starting to shake] Uh oh...[the snow starts to carry him and SpongeBob down the mountain]
  • Harold: Stupid amateurs... [stops walking and notices the snow] Fantastic... [the snow carries him, SpongeBob, and Squidward onto Conch Street]
  • Squidward: Time to face facts. I'll never have a happiest memory. [opens the snow up like a door and walks out then turns to SpongeBob] And if I do, it definitely won't involve you. [closes the snow door on SpongeBob and locks it; then walks inside his house and closes the door] Hello misery... I'm home... [walks up the stairs and gets on his bed] I might as well go to bed for a hundred years or so. [lays down in bed] Wake me when I'm dead... [rolls under his bed]
  • Narrator: Two weeks later...
  • SpongeBob: [at his house] Gary, I am worried about Squidward. He hasn't come out of his house for two weeks now!
  • Gary: [meows]
  • SpongeBob: [knocks Squidward's door] Why isn't he answering? [looks through Squidward's mail slot] Squidward! Squidward! Now I'm really worried! Squidward! SQUIDWARD! [notices Squidward through the window] Gasp! Squidward! Down here! He's upstairs! [near Squidward's window will sitting on top of Gary; then knocks on the window] Hey! Hey! Squidward! [Squidward pulls the blinds down on both windows] Well at least we know that he is still alive. Uh oh... [Gary's shell falls off and SpongeBob lands on the ground; then runs into Squidward's house and Gary's shell cracks off of him] I'm okay Gary!
  • Gary: Meow...
  • [bubble transition to inside SpongeBob's house and near the phone]
  • SpongeBob: Squidward sure seems depressed. I think I'll call him to cheer him up! [starts calling Squidward and he picks up the phone] Hello? Squidward? Are you there? [Squidward throws his phone out his window and into SpongeBob's house] Squidward? Are you there? Squidward?
  • Gary: Meow?
  • SpongeBob: Gary? What are you doing at Squidward's? Uh Gare? Can you put Squidward on the phone? [Notices Gary trying to give him another phone and takes it] Hold on a second, someone is on the other line. [echoing] Hello? Hello!? HELLO!? [Squidward's phone breaks] Hello? [his phone then breaks]
  • Squidward: I just can't seem to get happy... [opens his oven and takes out burned food] Well, that didn't help... [hears ringing; then walks over to his phone] Huh? That's strange, I could have swear I just threw that darn phone away. [notices his fax machine] Oh yeah. My fax machine. Now, why did I buy that again?
  • SpongeBob: [emerges from the fax machine and is in paperized form] Hi Squidward! [Squidward grabs him] You sure are a hard man to get a hold of! [sniffs] Hey, do I smell brownies?
  • Squidward: Yes... [tosses SpongeBob into the paper shredder and picks the box up] Thanks for stopping by. [dumps SpongeBob out of his window then closes it]
  • Gary: Sigh... meow. [gathers up the bits of SpongeBob and puts him back together]
  • SpongeBob: Thanks Gary! I have to find a way to give Squidward a happiest memory. These pants may be square, but it's time to think outside the box!
  • Squidward: [grabs a rope] I can't seem to get happy... [swings the rope over] Maybe this will help. [pulls on the rope to reveal a scallop in a cage but it sprays unknown liquid at him and the cage falls on his face; the scallop then flies away] Nope... I guess not... [hears knocking] Oh great... I wonder who that could be... [looks through the mail slot and notices the Mailfish] You're not SpongeBob.
  • Mailfish: I have a package for a Squidward "Tentaclees"?
  • Squidward: "Tentacles". Yes that's me.
  • Mailfish: Well here you go. [gives Squidward the package]
  • Squidward: Thanks... [closes his door] Doesn't say who's it from. No doubt SpongeBob is hiding inside. Ah well, here goes nothing. [opens the package] GOTCHA! Huh? [notices it empty] It's empty. Empty, just like my miserable life! [SpongeBob emerges from the box] I see nothing but darkness ahead... [SpongeBob taps him in another box] SpongeBob!? [starts muffling as SpongeBob takes him to the Krusty Krab; SpongeBob then opens the box]
  • SpongeBob: Surprise! I figured out you needed a party to help cheer you up! Unfortunately, everybody I tried to invite was busy or sick but don't worry! I used my paper mâché skills to fill the party with your favorite person: me! [camera zooms out to show the Krusty Krab filled with paper mâché SpongeBobs] So what do you think? Happiest memory or what?
  • Squidward: You don't seem to understand. [starts to get angry] I... don't... WANT... A... HAPPIEST MEMORY! [starts to go crazy and destroys the cake]
  • SpongeBob: [talking to a paper mâché SpongeBob] So you enjoying the d'oevuers?
  • Squidward: [rips the paper mâché SpongeBob apart then saws more apart; then crawls to the ceiling and grabs the banner that says "Happy Happiest Memory Squidward" and kicks more of them away] I feel WONDERFUL! [Laughs maniacally and destroys more paper mâché SpongeBobs] This is it, my happiest memory!
  • SpongeBob: Sigh... he's so handsome!
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