SpongeBob SquarePants

Are You Happy Now? (transcript)

on ESB
Add New Page
Comments0 Share
Arrow Left
Arrow Right
Transcript Information [edit]
Are You Happy Now?
Season №: 8
Episode №: 169a
Airdate: March 31, 2012
Previous: "Fiasco!"
Next: "Planet of the Jellyfish"
List of episode transcripts

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Are You Happy Now?" from season eight, which aired on March 31, 2012.

  • [opening shot of The Krusty Krab]
  • Narrator: Ahhh... The Krusty Krab, Bikini Bottom's answer to fine dining. And here we see one of its patrons now. [Patrick runs away from the back of the Krusty Krab dropping grease across his path] Ah... yes, moving on. Oh, it is the SpongeBob, creator of the fine cuisine within. Now let us watch.
  • Squidward: One Krabby Patty, extra grease. [SpongeBob chuckles and flips a page in his book.]
  • SpongeBob: Whoa!
  • Squidward: Mmm.
  • SpongeBob: Ooh! [he starts laughing]
  • Squidward: [growls]
  • SpongeBob: [he laughs more and flips a page] [Gasps and moans]
  • Squidward: GRR...
  • SpongeBob: [he gasps again and laughs even more]
  • Squidward: All right, let me see it. [he picks up the book that SpongeBob was looking at] The Krusty Krab work schedule, what's so great about this?
  • SpongeBob: [gasps] What's so... why, it's my happy book. The Krusty Krab is where all of my happiest memories occurred.
  • Squidward: Hmmm... [drops SpongeBob's book] Oops, I accidentally burned up your memories.
  • SpongeBob: Don't worry, Squidward. [walks to his cabinet and opens it] I have a whole cabinet of backups. [Squidward deflates] So what's your happiest memory, Squidward?
  • Squidward: Ummm, let me think... [thinks of TV static and color bars screen] [sighs] I guess I don't have a happiest memory. Oh, well. [walks away]
  • [SpongeBob thinks and he pops out from Squidward's boat]
  • Squidward: Yes?!
  • SpongeBob: Squidward, you don't have a happiest memory?
  • Squidward: So what?
  • SpongeBob: How can you live without a happiest memory? Do you cry yourself to sleep at night?
  • Squidward: I hear you crying all the time.
  • SpongeBob: Well, with joy, Squidward, with joy.
  • Squidward: Look, I don't need a happy memory, so just get back to your culinary grease factory and leave me alone.
  • Sandals: Hey, I'd like to order a Krabby Patty. [Squidward cries] Okay... can someone else take my order?
  • [SpongeBob pops out from Squidward's boat again and cries with Squidward] 
  • Sandals: I'll wait.
  • Squidward: You're right, SpongeBob, I don't have a happy memory. This is horrible.
  • SpongeBob: Don't worry, Squidward, I'll help you make a happiest memory.
  • Squidward: Really? Do you think you can?
  • SpongeBob: No problem.
  • Squidward: Well, it's against my better judgement, but, okay.
  • [at the concert, the song plays]
  • SpongeBob: You love music, right, Squidward?
  • Squidward: Mmm hmm.
  • SpongeBob: Then this will definitely be your happiest memory!
  • Squidward: Hey, this isn't so bad. I think I actually feel kinda...happy!
  • SpongeBob: See? Your happiest memory is forming!
  • [Nat plays his violin but his bow launches from it]
  • SpongeBob: Oops. That was a sour note. [Notices the violin bow on Squidward's eye]
  • Squidward: This is not my happiest memory...
  • [Bubble transition to the Museum]
  • Squidward: Why are we at the Art Museum?
  • SpongeBob: Well, you love art. Maybe you'll find a happiest moment in here!
  • Squidward: Great... I get to see all the art of people who have succeeded where I've failed. My art will never be shown in this... [Walks into a statue resembling him] What the? This... this is my sculpture! How did it get here?
  • Art Critic: [Walks up to Squidward's sculpture along with a group of fish] Oh! You're just in time! Art lovers, this is Squidward Tentacles! Creator of this piece! [The group is in awe]
  • SpongeBob: Wow! Your work at a museum Squidward!
  • Squidward: [Excited] Gosh! I can't believe it! I think this might be it!
  • SpongeBob: Your happiest memory?
  • Squidward: Yeah!
  • Art Critic: And now the performance artist Fiasco will say a few words about this piece [camera shifts over to Fiasco]
  • Squidward: Gosh! Fiasco himself is talking about my art!
  • Fiasco: Ahem! Squid... ward... go toward... the light... [takes out a flamethrower] of my flamethrower! [burns down Squidward's sculpture and the Art Critic's group claps for him]
  • Squidward: And now he's melted it...[Fiasco takes away the sign "Created by Squidward Tentacles" and replaces it with "Burned by Fiasco"] Not a happiest memory...
  • SpongeBob: Um... it's kinda smokey in here! [grabs Squidward's arm] You need fresh air!
  • [Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Squidward (who is blindfolded) in a hot air balloon]
  • SpongeBob: What a majestic view!
  • Squidward: What view?
  • SpongeBob: Oh yeah! I forgot about your blindfold! [removes Squidward's blindfold] Isn't it beautiful?
  • Squidward: [looks down at his house] Very nice... except that I'm AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!
  • SpongeBob: Oh! Sorry Squidward! I'll take us down! [takes out a needle]
  • Squidward: Wait! No! [SpongeBob pops the balloon] Oh boy... [he and SpongeBob start flying around and crash into a mountain. he knocks away the basket and notices SpongeBob's behind] Oh yeah...nice view...
  • Harold: [reaches the top] Son of a seahorse! Twenty years of training and a couple of amateurs just leap out of a balloon! Here! [gives SpongeBob his flag] You plant it! [walks back down] All that time and money and resources wasted on...
  • SpongeBob: Hey! We're the first to ever reach the top of Mt. Bikini! Surely that makes for a happiest memory! I claim this mountain in the name of Squidward Tentacles! [accidentally jams the flag onto Squidward's foot]
  • Squidward: [removes the flag from his foot and notices the mountain starting to shake] Uh oh...[the snow starts to carry him and SpongeBob down the mountain]
  • Harold: Stupid amateurs... [stops walking and notices the snow] Fantastic... [the snow carries him, SpongeBob, and Squidward onto Conch Street]
  • Squidward: Time to face facts. I'll never have a happiest memory. [opens the snow up like a door and walks out then turns to SpongeBob] And if I do, it definitely won't involve you. [closes the snow door on SpongeBob and locks it; then walks inside his house and closes the door] Hello misery... I'm home... [walks up the stairs and gets on his bed] I might as well go to bed for a hundred years or so. [lays down in bed] Wake me when I'm dead... [rolls under his bed]
  • Narrator: Two weeks later...
  • SpongeBob: [at his house] Gary, I am worried about Squidward. He hasn't come out of his house for two weeks now!
  • Gary: [meows]
  • SpongeBob: [knocks Squidward's door] Why isn't he answering? [looks through Squidward's mail slot] Squidward! Squidward! Now I'm really worried! Squidward! SQUIDWARD! [notices Squidward through the window] Gasp! Squidward! Down here! He's upstairs! [near Squidward's window will sitting on top of Gary; then knocks on the window] Hey! Hey! Squidward! [Squidward pulls the blinds down on both windows] Well at least we know that he is still alive. Uh oh... [Gary's shell falls off and SpongeBob lands on the ground; then runs into Squidward's house and Gary's shell cracks off of him] I'm okay Gary!
  • Gary: Meow...
  • [bubble transition to inside SpongeBob's house and near the phone]
  • SpongeBob: Squidward sure seems depressed. I think I'll call him to cheer him up! [starts calling Squidward and he picks up the phone] Hello? Squidward? Are you there? [Squidward throws his phone out his window and into SpongeBob's house] Squidward? Are you there? Squidward?
  • Gary: Meow?
  • SpongeBob: Gary? What are you doing at Squidward's? Uh Gare? Can you put Squidward on the phone? [Notices Gary trying to give him another phone and takes it] Hold on a second, someone is on the other line. [echoing] Hello? Hello!? HELLO!? [Squidward's phone breaks] Hello? [his phone then breaks]
  • Squidward: I just can't seem to get happy... [opens his oven and takes out burned food] Well, that didn't help... [hears ringing; then walks over to his phone] Huh? That's strange, I could have swear I just threw that darn phone away. [notices his fax machine] Oh yeah. My fax machine. Now, why did I buy that again?
  • SpongeBob: [emerges from the fax machine and is in paperized form] Hi Squidward! [Squidward grabs him] You sure are a hard man to get a hold of! [sniffs] Hey, do I smell brownies?
  • Squidward: Yes... [tosses SpongeBob into the paper shredder and picks the box up] Thanks for stopping by. [dumps SpongeBob out of his window then closes it]
  • Gary: Sigh... meow. [gathers up the bits of SpongeBob and puts him back together]
  • SpongeBob: Thanks Gary! I have to find a way to give Squidward a happiest memory. These pants may be square, but it's time to think outside the box!
  • Squidward: [grabs a rope] I can't seem to get happy... [swings the rope over] Maybe this will help. [pulls on the rope to reveal a scallop in a cage but it sprays unknown liquid at him and the cage falls on his face; the scallop then flies away] Nope... I guess not... [hears knocking] Oh great... I wonder who that could be... [looks through the mail slot and notices the Mailfish] You're not SpongeBob.
  • Mailfish: I have a package for a Squidward "Tentaclees"?
  • Squidward: "Tentacles". Yes that's me.
  • Mailfish: Well here you go. [gives Squidward the package]
  • Squidward: Thanks... [closes his door] Doesn't say who's it from. No doubt SpongeBob is hiding inside. Ah well, here goes nothing. [opens the package] GOTCHA! Huh? [notices it empty] It's empty. Empty, just like my miserable life! [SpongeBob emerges from the box] I see nothing but darkness ahead... [SpongeBob taps him in another box] SpongeBob!? [starts muffling as SpongeBob takes him to the Krusty Krab; SpongeBob then opens the box]
  • SpongeBob: Surprise! I figured out you needed a party to help cheer you up! Unfortunately, everybody I tried to invite was busy or sick but don't worry! I used my paper mâché skills to fill the party with your favorite person: me! [camera zooms out to show the Krusty Krab filled with paper mâché SpongeBobs] So what do you think? Happiest memory or what?
  • Squidward: You don't seem to understand. [starts to get angry] I... don't... WANT... A... HAPPIEST MEMORY! [starts to go crazy and destroys the cake]
  • SpongeBob: [talking to a paper mâché SpongeBob] So you enjoying the d'oevuers?
  • Squidward: [rips the paper mâché SpongeBob apart then saws more apart; then crawls to the ceiling and grabs the banner that says "Happy Happiest Memory Squidward" and kicks more of them away] I feel WONDERFUL! [Laughs maniacally and destroys more paper mâché SpongeBobs] This is it, my happiest memory!
  • SpongeBob: Sigh... he's so handsome!

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Wikia Spotlight

Random Wiki