A Flea in Her Dome/transcript

Template:EpisodeTr/90a

• [Zoom in on SpongeBob, he is bawling and sitting in the area between his pineapple and Squidward's home. His tears send him up and down off the ground. Patrick walks up and pats SpongeBob's back]
• Patrick: There, there, SpongeBob. No need to cry.
• [SpongeBob pops off Patricks shoulder]
• SpongeBob: Yes there is, Patrick. Sandy's been gone for two whole days!
• Patrick: Two whole days?! [tears pour out of his eyes like a hose as he begins to wail]
• SpongeBob: Oh, why'd she have to go to that science convention in Tejas?
• Patrick: Tejas!
• SpongeBob: [sniffles, looks at his watch] She won't be back for one more hour, twenty-six minutes and forty-seven seconds.
• Patrick: Oh, forty-seven seconds! [SpongeBob and Patrick cry tears in each others faces] I miss Sandy so much. Her tentacles, [waves his arms] the way she plays clarinet - her massive nose! [a nose like Squidward's pops onto his face]
• SpongeBob: Patrick, that's Squidward. [Patrick's Squidward-like nose disappears] He's not gone, he's right here. [pan over to Squidward planting a flower]
• Squidward: No, I'm not. [drops the flower into the ground and walks into his home, slamming the door behind him]
• SpongeBob: I sure do miss that squirrel. [sniff] Her karate chopping, [karate chops ground] that ten gallon glass dome over her dome. And who can forget those buck teeth? [his buck teeth show sparkling] After Sandy gets back, we're gonna let her know just how much we miss her!
• Patrick: Is Sandy the one I call mom?
• SpongeBob: No, Patrick, that's your mother. But that does give me an idea! Well throw Sandy the mother of welcome home parties! Patrick, to the treedome! [runs off, distorted trumpet fanfare plays]
• Patrick: Wa-hey!
• [Patrick runs after SpongeBob. Bubble transition to Sandys house; SpongeBob and Patrick sneak into it with party supplies. SpongeBob twirls the handle open and the two run in and start painting on a blue banner with white paint. SpongeBob writes from left to right, and Patrick does the opposite. They run out of space on the banner, and it reads "WELCOMANDY". Balloons rise up, transitioning to Patrick inhaling deeply. He holds an uninflated balloon to the fishbowl around his head and tries to blow it up, failing. SpongeBob walks over, knocking on Patrick's bowl to get his attention. Patrick and SpongeBob jump out of the tree holding balloons. The balloons fill with air as they float down. They stop, floating in midair just above the ground and start to kick their legs trying to reach it. There is another balloon transition to SpongeBob icing a cake which reads "WELCOME HOME SANDY!"]
• SpongeBob: Ah! [cake is shown, with two red hearts on either side of the word "WELCOME". SpongeBob sets the icing down. The cake is missing from the tray. Patrick is next to him eating the cake. His water helmets sitting on the table. He notices SpongeBob glaring at him, pulls the cake out of his mouth and sets it on the tray. The cake is now in the shape of Texas] Huh? [View of the cake. The two red hearts are at the top of the Texas-shaped cake, followed by the words 'Welcome Home Sandy' written in cursive. The 'y' in 'Sandy' curls down to a waving SpongeBob and Patrick decoration. The two smile. There is another ballon transition to Patrick and SpongeBob pulling ropes to hang a blue "WELCOME 'DOME' SANDY' banner in the branches of the tree. A sign points out from the top of the tree that reads "WE MISSED YOU!" on what appears to be wood. Balloons are hung in the tree's branches as well as pink banners. SpongeBob looks at his watch] We've readied this place for Sandy's arrival which should be about - WHOO! Right now! [A red bus comes down the road, pulls up to Sandy's house and stops. The door opens and Sandy walks out, carrying a suitcase. Patrick and SpongeBob run out from the treedome and stop in front of Sandy. SpongeBob sings] Welcome home Sandy, you know that we missed ya'!
• Bus driver: No! No one wants to hear you sing!
• Sandy: Sorry, SpongeBob. He's got a fierce 'no-singing' policy.
• [bus drives off]
• SpongeBob: It's quite alright, Miss Cheeks, as long you don't have a fierce 'no-partying' policy! [Sandy laughs. The three go inside the treedome] First, cake, then we'll karate-chop, and then...
• Sandy: Wow, guys! You two, uh, [she scratches her neck. All but her helmet is on] really know how to, uh, [scratches her back] throw a party.
• SpongeBob: I knew it! You have been itching to see us!
• Sandy: Well, something's making my skin crawl.
• SpongeBob: Maybe a slice of cake will take your mind off of your crawling hide. Patrick and I made this cake especially for your return. [SpongeBob passes a slice of the cake to Patrick]
• Patrick: This is gonna taste so good again.
• SpongeBob: Dig in, Sandy! [Sandy is scratching her back with a fork] Uh…
• Sandy: Looks tasty, SpongeBob!
• SpongeBob: Are you okay, Sandy?
• Sandy: I'm fine! My skin just hasn't adjusted to this here underwater air. [Sandy's fur begins to be pulled out with her scratching, it floats onto SpongeBob's plate and slice of cake. He moves the plate away with his fork, looking disgusted. He looks over to Patrick and sees him combing the hair on his cake, formed into a moustache and hairdo]
• SpongeBob: Uh, hey Sandy! Sandy! [he pokes her back, and holds up a pink box with a red ribbon on it] Surprise! [He sets it on the table] Patrick and I chipped in and got ya' a little something something.
• Sandy: Aw, you guys, you shouldn't have! [she rips the wrapping off of the box, and lifts up a purple snowboard] A new itch board - I mean, a new snowboard! Boy, I sure can't wait to scratch this down chafe mountain!
• SpongeBob: Don't you mean ride this down Scab Mountain?
• Sandy: Thank you very rawness, SpongeBob and Pat.
• SpongeBob: Umm, your welcome, Sandy. Hey, are you still up for some karate chops?
• Sandy: [Still scratching her neck] Rashy sore! I mean sure.
• SpongeBob: Ya ready? [Sandy scratches her back with her karate gloves on] And, how bout now? You ready?
• Sandy: [Sandy gets on the floor and scratches her head like a dog, then gets up and scratches her arm] Creepin' critters! Feels like somethins bitin me! [She looks at her arm closely, her eyes move back and forth, spotting a flea. The flea is biting Sandy's skin. The flea looks up and screeches] Ive got a flea?! Well, I ain't gonna take that without a fight! [She karate chops her arm] Hi-ya! [The flea jumps off Sandy's arm and lands on her leg] Ill get ya! [She chops her leg three times and tosses her gloves away. She starts biting her leg. SpongeBob and Patrick stare at her, then look at each other. Sandy scratches her leg and her back with her hands, then turns over to scratch her back. SpongeBob walks over] SpongeBob! My suitcase! Hurry! [SpongeBob brings over a blue suitcase. Sandy opens it] Im ashamed to say this SpongeBob, but while I was in Texas, I seem to have picked up a flea.
• SpongeBob: Whats a flea?
• Sandy: A flea is a dastardly little vermin that bites us air breathers. But this here flea collar will send the critter arunnin. [Flea jumps off Sandy and lands on SpongeBobs hand. The flea screeches]
• SpongeBob: [laughs] He tickles! Oh, this isn't so bad! [flea bites him] Ow! [gasps] He bit me! Got any more of those fancy collars, Sandy?
• Sandy: No, but you can use this one right quick. [She puts the collar on SpongeBobs wrist. The flea jumps off SpongeBob and lands on Patrick]
• Patrick: Ow! Ahh! Ooh! [Breathes heavily] Ha,ha! Connect the dots! [pulls out a pencil and draws on the bite marks] I drawed a horsey! [flea still bites him] Ouch! Why does this flea keep biting me?
• Sandy: Cause he's hungry. When a flea bites you, it's cause he's sucking up your blood for nutrition.
• Patrick: Ive been bit by a vampire flea! No!! [kneels] I'm gonna turn into a vampire now! [lies on the floor and starts pulling out grass] It's already happening! Ah! [growls, blows raspberry, his tongue goes around his mouth, then opens and closes mouth and has nose]
• Sandy: Patrick, there aint no such thing as vampires.
• Patrick: [scratches head like a dog] Augh! doesnt matter! [Grabs flea collar off SpongeBob] Oh, this itch is killing me! Yagh! [puts the collar on like a belt. The flea jumps off Patrick and lands back on Sandy. She starts scratching]
• Sandy: Aah! Gimmie that! [She takes the collar and puts it on her neck] Whew! [The flea jumps back on SpongeBob and goes under his tie]
• SpongeBob: Nyahh! Ow! Sandy, please! Help me! [Scratches]
• Sandy: [holds onto the collar] I need this!
• SpongeBob: I need it more! [takes the collar]
• Patrick: Eee! [He grabs the collar]
• Sandy: Yah! [The flea jumps and goes in Sandys nose. The flea passes by both eyes and scratches the inside. Sandy screams and takes the collar. They all fight for it until it Sandy is exausted from scratching. There the flea lays eggs. Fleas land on SpongeBob and he spins around on the floor scratching] Enough! I will not take this anymore! [She wraps the collar around SpongeBob, Patrick, and herself] What cha gonna do now, punks? [Fleas jump off of them] Lookie! It worked! Whew! Im glad thats over.
• SpongeBob: Um, it that what over looks like? [He points to an increasing amount of fleas]
• Sandy: Tarnation! Theyre multiplying like mad! [The flea "pile" comes over and eats away the flea collar. Sandy, SpongeBob, and Patrick scream] Run!
• SpongeBob & Patrick: Okay! [A flea "cannon" is shooting flea "cannonballs". They his the glass and go back into a pile. The cannon shoots cannonballs at the three]
• Patrick: Wah!
• SpongeBob: Whoa!
• Sandy: Hey! [cannonballs hit the glass and the flea pile grows bigger] Y'all got the aim of a cross-eyed armadillo! [the flea pile grows even bigger and makes the shape of an ocean wave] Run again!
• SpongeBob & Patrick: Okay! [The flea wave hits the three of them. SpongeBob looks at his arms and they swell with flea bites. Sandy and Patrick swell, too]
• SpongeBob: Aah!
• Patrick: Mraah!
• Sandy: Aah!
• SpongeBob: Uh, thanks for having us Sandy, but we gotta go!
• Patrick: Yeah, good to see ya! [They run toward the door, but a flea tornado beats them there]
• SpongeBob & Patrick: Raah! [Squidward is seen walking and listening to some music] Help! Help!
• Squidward: Just ignore them, Squidward, and continue your power walk. Heel, toe, heel, toe, heel, toe, heel, toe.
• Sandy: Back off! [she is seen stomping on some fleas, but they overpower her and run her over. SpongeBob and Patrick rush over]
• SpongeBob: Sandy! Oh, no! Are you okay? [Sandy gets up and spits out fleas]
• Sandy: Them varmints is tough. They're from Texas! Whew! [She goes back on the floor]
• Patrick: It's gonna be all right. [picks her up] We will help you. [Fleas come down like planes. SpongeBob and Patrick scream] Okay, you know what? None of this would have happened if you didn't come back with your infestation! All you've brought us is fleas, and trouble and pain, and itching, and a rash! And pain, and fleas, and itching and... pain! So... much... pain! So much pain! And as for you! If you hadn't thrown this party, we wouldn't be in this mess!
• SpongeBob: Wait a minute! You had as much to do with this party as I did!
• Patrick: You call this a party?! I'm beginning to question our friendship.
• SpongeBob: Stop smudging my helmet!
• Patrick: Oh, Ive got half a mind, buddy!
• Sandy: Would you two men stop yelling at each other?! [Pushes them to the ground] What does that prove?! If were gonna get out of this, we gotta work together!
• Patrick: You're right. I have an idea. SpongeBob! You get on Sandy's shoulders! Uh, huh. Good. Now, Ill get on top, of you! [Straining to get on top of SpongeBob's shoulders] Ah... [Munches on an apple, then burps] Ahhh... much better. [the "tower" topples over] Whoa!
• Sandy: I do not play games! [The fleas assemble to make an evil face, then laugh evilly. SpongeBob and Patrick hold each other in fright] Quick! In the treehouse! its the only safe place left! [Shuts the door behind her] We should be protected here! [SpongeBob and Patrick look shocked as the tree house rumbles and fleas enter through the window] Hold on! [Sandy throws an acorn on a button labeled Emergency escape hatch". The floor opens and leads them back outside. Fleas start to take over the treedome, and break the picnic table, and start to cover SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy]
• SpongeBob: Is this how we will spend the rest of our lives? Living in fleas instead of water?
• Sandy: [Her mind pings with an idea] SpongeBob! Thats It! Water! [She puts on her helmet and karate chops her way to the door. She opens it, and water starts to fill the dome. Patrick and SpongeBob start to cry. Their helmets come off]
• SpongeBob & Patrick: Water! [Fish are being sucked into the dome]
• SpongeBob: It sure is good to have you back, Sandy! [The episode ends with the ocean empty and all the citizens stuck in Sandy's treedome]